McSweeney’s List (19 march 2025)
We all know the cliched stoner thoughts. Have you ever looked at your hands, man? No, like really looked at your hands…to aliens we are the aliens…stuff like that. It's relatable, because we've all had these ideas, high or not. True though, when you start experimenting with mind altering substances, these thoughts come hard and fast, from do we really exist, to I think I forgot how to breathe. We get used to this, answering the questions as they come up, realizing that not all questions have answers, and that some questions will simply pass when the jazz wears off. As we get older, these thoughts become rarer and more redundant, no longer the life shifting realizations we thought they were. But, dudes, I had a high realization the other night, and I'm still processing it.
So there I was, in my kitchen. My edibles were kicking in as I did the dishes, and I was singing at the top of my lungs. (I have a playlist of songs I know all the words to for this purpose.) This is how I party. Anyway, the thought popped into my head from nowhere, fully formed: I like being with people because I like to spread good vibes, and when I'm with someone, I catch the vibes I'm putting out.
Okay, so the truth hit better than the phrasing, so let me try to straighten out. I'm an emotionally attentive person: I want to bring joy, support, and fulfillment to the people I care about. I want to make them tea, rub their shoulders, point out every bright side, and entertain every miracle. Alone, I'm left with all the various perspectives of my brain, a cacophony of thoughts -- pros, cons, shopping lists, squirrels. It's made all the muckier because I'm not speaking out loud, so all my thoughts can run screaming like children on the playground, whereas articulating my thoughts gives them definition and clarity. Putting an idea into words silences the other ideas that are not being spoken, creating the spotlight of one unified current thought.
Likewise, pep talks are like meditations. When I'm sharing words of encouragement, I get high on my own supply. It's so easy to see the potential in others; to understand that they’re in a tricky situation or simply too tired to think clearly, but that this doesn't define them, or where their path will take them. In the unspoken spaces of my own brain my self-judgement runs wild, and the dark things seem true; as if bringing a candle into the darkness would only be a temporary illusion, a coat of paint over rotting wood. When I say positive words to others, I truly believe them, and suddenly, all the candles light in my heart, and all the wood heals itself.
There's an Indian aphorism that recommends we treat visitors as God coming to our home. It forms the foundation for their culture of hospitality and graciousness. Now, coming to my home isn't going to make anyone feel luxurious, but I will make tea, and offer foods I don't even have but will immediately acquire. God doesn't want a frozen pizza unless it's literally the best you can do (in which case it will be received as a feast). I would rather cook, using healthful ingredients, stirring with love, tending the pot as I tend the hearts of those who matter to me. It's been awhile since I cooked for anyone, but somehow I've managed to improve doing this for myself. I've made a point of prioritizing quality, valuing the effort of cooking as part of the ritual that adds magic wholesomeness to the food. Perhaps starting there led me to this new stoner thought, the slow work of love infused vegetables and homemade marinades seeping into my body and unlocking the next steps.
If a friend told me they were feeling the need to rest and recharge, I would fully back their play. I would remind them to drink water, rest as much as they need, and face tomorrow when it comes. It wouldn't even cross my mind to think of them as lazy, or avoidant, or any of the things I tell myself when I rest. (While I do a fair amount of resting, I do an unfair amount of shit-talking myself for it, which really takes the potency out of recharging.)
If a friend expressed that they were in a funk, I would try to drag them out for a walk, or a museum trip. I would suggest liquids, light, stretching and grounding. I'd remind them how good they feel when they paint, bake, or whatever their comfort things are. I've been getting better with this one too, and I think it's a form of gentle self-parenting. It’s also probably one of the foundational principles that paved the way for my realization.
And the realization itself has been said forever in different words: speak to yourself the way you would speak to those you love. We've all heard this a million times, and at some point a couple of years ago, I did realize that I was speaking to myself badly. From there I endeavoured to be more aware of my language, changing some words, adding the lilting, caring tone in my head that I would use for others. While it increased my awareness, bringing my attention to exactly what I was thinking instead of being on auto-pilot. But the realization that it feels different out loud has changed my inner dialogue entirely. I'm no longer editing out my negative self-talk, I've fully reframed the concepts I'm working with. What would I actually say to someone I love and respect? How would I try to enrich their day?
Would I suggest that we go for a stroll because it's so lovely out? Yes. But I might also suggest a quick jaunt to the fruit store, and trying a new bread recipe with the doors and windows open wide for the first time in months.
Would I suggest some stretches, uplifting media, lots of water, maybe a mini home spa day? Absolutely. Motivating myself to do extra self-care with no witnesses and no place to be can be a challenge. Doing the bare minimum seems easier, but there's no real payoff. Maintenance is not the same as improvement; tiny steps lead to mountaintops.
Would I try to convince a Lover to blow off plans and spend a lazy day napping? Yes. Having people around doesn't change my fundamental character. But if I had a lover to do that with, I wouldn't feel as bad about it as I do alone. What the hell’s that mind fuck? So many people wish they could just fuck off, and just do their thing, and here I am, with all the freedom to do just that, and I feel bad about it unless there's some partner in crime putting their fingers all over the scene? That's some bullshit. I'm putting an end to that logic glitch right now.
Needless to say, that stoner thought has given me a lot of food… for thought. It hit me like a rock in my weird pond, stirring up things that needed to finally come to the light. The ripples are not done, and the rock was not magic: I’ll have to apply these lessons, and if I'm so lucky, those steps will lead me to new ones I haven't even thought of yet. Step one has me hydrated, moisturized, and eating fresh bread as I stand in my doorway watching the rain. It's a glorious start, and I very much love who I am standing here.
And now, before we get to The List, we’ve got a special guest appearance by Ella Buckingham to discuss the Twelve Vacancies Film Festival, starting tomorrow!
Springing into Action
By Ella Buckingham
This season of Twelve Vacancies Film Festival invites audiences to more viewings, more short films, and more laughter!
Back for the third installment of their largely successful film festival, Twelve Vacancies Film Festival (TVFF) is gearing up for audiences to watch their newest curated short films from across the country. Twelve Vacancies, born out of a desire to create alternate spaces for budding student filmmakers to show their work, highlights unexpected and risk-taking projects that push the boundaries of film. The showings are diverse in both content and style, with filmmakers utilizing genres such as claymation and Lego based stop-motion animation. Due to the popularity of their previous showings, TVFF has also added an extra viewing day (March 20th and 21st with the March 20th viewing already selling out). Many of the filmmakers shown will also be present at the first viewing, allowing audiences a more intimate and direct view of what behind-the-scenes might look like. With over 120 submissions to the festival this year, the jury had the daunting task of choosing 14 short films to showcase, increased from the usual 12.
This season, Twelve Vacancies is also partnering with Fantasia, North America’s largest genre film festival and located right here in Montreal. “They cultivate such a strong community around their screenings, which we find so inspiring,” Amelia, one of the coordinators of TVFF, mentioned, “We're really excited to have the support of such a big genre festival with international reach this year!”
Tickets are selling out quickly so don’t walk, RUN to get yours before they sell out. You can either follow the link below or head over to Twelve Vacancies' Instagram page or website. If you would like a more in-depth look at Twelve Vacancies Film Festival, check out this feature published by Forget The Box last year.
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming!
Calling All Writers
carte blanche is an internationally recognized literary magazine based in Quebec. Started in 2004 by members of the Quebec Writers’ Federation, and the thing has taken on quite a lovely life of its own. They're calling for submissions, and I know you have some goodies just waiting to be seen! They accept poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction, photography, translation, and comics. Their motto is there's more than one way to tell a story; so how will you tell yours?
Submit through their site at carte blanche magazine.
A Rose By Any Other Name…
Concordia University’s undergraduate literary magazine, Soliloquies Anthology, is hosting an open mic, and you should go! Bring your shiniest poem, your most tear-jerking haiku, or just being your listening ears, and enjoy the show!
The theme is spring, and the event is PWYC.
WHAT: Soliloquies Anthology - Spring Themed Open Mic
WHERE: Barbossa, 3956 A St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2W 1Y3
WHEN: Thursday, March 20 @ 7 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
SIGN-UP: Soliloquies
Flake On The Books
Students, it’s time to ditch the textbooks and hit the comedy club! Every other Thursday (so, like THIS Thursday) The Comedy House brings you a night of stand-up comedy designed just for you.
Expect hilarious comedians, cheap drinks, and the perfect excuse to procrastinate—because let’s be honest, that essay can wait.
Gather your friends, get ready to make new ones, grab a seat, and get ready to laugh your student debt away (temporarily).
WHAT: Nitwits Student Comedy Night
WHERE: Comedy House, 2075 St. Patrick St., Montreal, H3K 1A9
WHEN: Thursday, March 20 @ 8 PM
METRO: Atwater (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
I Love Human Bingo
Improv 4 Breakfast invites you to a night of bingo where your cards are filled with hilarious moments from the stage!
Example bingo card squares:
-Someone dies
-Someone plays a therapist
-Chairs are used on stage
-A sibling relationship is established
-Someone pours or drinks a beverage
Got ideas for bingo entries? Do you notice certain recurring moments in performances? Share your suggestions with us using this form!
Join us for a fun-filled evening of bingo and silly prizes!
$8 Now / $10 Later
WHAT: Improv Bingo
WHERE: Montreal Improv, 3716 rue Notre-Dame Ouest, Montreal, QC, Canada, H4C 1P7
WHEN: Friday, March 21 @ 930 PM
METRO: Place Saint Henri (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this, week in order!
What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…
Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Put your knowledge to the test! Whether you're a history buff, a pop culture guru, or a sports fanatic, there's something for everyone. Grab a pint, enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company. Hosted by Vance Michel, the comedians this week are Peter Bowen, Miguel Mckenna, and Nazeer Khan.
WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
Femmes!
Get ready for a night of big laughs at this intimate show with an all-femme lineup of professional comedians!
Welcome to the World's Smallest Comedy Night: Femmes! This stellar lineup will have you cracking up until you pee a little (amiright ladies?).
Produced and hosted by the incredibly talented Abby Stonehouse, this is an intimate comedy event featuring a lineup featuring Stella Kokomucho, Bana Hamze, Florence Penicaud, Isabelle Gaumont, Andrina Learmonth, Eva Alexo, Michelle Furtado, Olivia Benaroche, and Marianne Mandrusiak.
WHAT: WSCN: Femmes!
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Monday, February 24, Doors @ 730 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Filthy Fun
The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the best uncensored open mic in town, hosted by Vance Michel. Every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!
Comics: show-up, sign-up.
WHAT: Monday Night Dirty Mic
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Every Monday, Sign-up @ 1020 PM, Show @ 1030 PM
METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)
RSVP: Eventbrite
This Week at MTL Comedy Club!
MONDAY
Professional and Amateur comedians take the stage to try out their new jokes!
Full kitchen, and bar. Beat the Monday blues with belly laughs. Hosted by Ben Cardilli.
Tickets: 10$ in advance / 15$ at the door
WHAT: Mondays, Amirite?
WHERE: McKibbin’s Irish Pub, 1426 Rue Bishop St., Montreal, H3G 2E6
WHEN: Every Monday, doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green), Lucien l’Allier (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Tuesday
Get the authentic Montreal Stand Up Comedy experience at Montreal Comedy Club! Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, plus hotshot celebrity drop ins, and more surprises!
WHAT: Tuesday Night Comedy Jam
WHERE: McKibbin’s Irish Pub, 1426 Rue Bishop St., Montreal, H3G 2E6
WHEN: Every Tuesday, doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green), Lucien l’Allier (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Hump Day
Break up your week with top comedians, rising stars, and tons of surprises!
WHAT: Wednesday Night Stand-Up Comedy at Melrose Resto
WHERE: Melrose Resto, 6548 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2S 3C6
WHEN: Every Wednesday, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Beaubien (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Thursday
Whatever’s ailing your soul, laughter is the cure! Get non-stop laughs with top-tier comedians!
WHAT: The Remedy
WHERE: Deli Planet, 895 Rue De la Gauchetière W., Montreal, H3B 2M4
WHEN: Every Thursday @ 830 PM
METRO: Bonaventure (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
TGIF
Kick off your weekend with laughter! Unwind with killer comedians, plus a full kitchen, and bar!
WHAT: Just Joking
WHERE: Melrose Resto, 6548 Boulevard St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2S 3C6
WHEN: Every Friday @ 8 PM
METRO: Beaubien (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Saturday
Saturday nights are for laughs with friends! Gather the gang, and head out for some Ha-has, and catch these comedy all stars!
WHAT: Comedy All Stars
WHERE: Deli Planet, 895 Rue De la Gauchetière W., Montreal, H3B 2M4
WHEN: Every Saturday @ 9 PM
METRO: Bonaventure (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Saturday Late Show
Late shows get rowdy! This daring stand-up event features 5 professional comedians pushing boundaries, and exploring the edges of humour. Perfect for those who appreciate comedy that toes the line between provocative and playful.
10$ Early Bird
15$ Day Of
20$ At the Door
WHAT: Saturday Night Comedy Late Show
WHERE: Deli Planet, 895 Rue De la Gauchetière W., Montreal, H3B 2M4
WHEN: Every Saturday, Doors @ 1045 PM Show @ 11 PM
METRO: Bonaventure (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Sunday
Fight the scaries with funnies! Catch comedy, grab some dinner, have a drink -- you’ll forget all about Monday morning!
WHAT: Sunday Night Stand-Up
WHERE: Brass Door, 2171 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2C1
WHEN: Every Sunday @ 8 PM
METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green) & Lucien-l'Allier (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
