Not everyone is a performer, which is probably a good thing. Let's be honest, there are only so many spotlights to go around, and frankly, it would be inconvenient if everyone was wearing stage makeup all the time, dropping sequins as they went. But what if even people who aren't performers per se, have performance spaces? Put another way, what if everyone is a performer in certain circumstances?

I was regaling Andrew with tales of my 9-to-5; the drama and glory of working at a doctor‘s office sounds trite, but can be interesting. There aren't many dull moments when dealing with the public, and dealing with people who are feeling particularly vulnerable seems to exacerbate the odds for wild encounters. Still, I was telling him some of the things I hear my boss say often: stories and sayings he repeats to different people. Whether it's asking the quiet people in the waiting room if they're making trouble, or assuring the depressed that he's not only a guide in that particular forest, he's also journeying it himself. The patients hear it once, while I've heard it a million times over 11 years. “Oh,” Andrew said, “It's his performance space.” It made sense immediately.

I spent years working the front desk at a yoga studio. One of my favorite phrases that I repeated ad nauseum came when I was directing new clients to the dressing rooms, which were “straight down the curved hall”. Sometimes it would get an acknowledgement, but even when it didn't, it made me giggle inside every time. It was part of my script. Another gem was anytime I had to step away for a moment, and I would advise whomever was left behind to “make sure no one stole the yoga”. I was doing bits without realizing it, at the stage of my desk. The job helped me gain confidence, and I thrived in my small spotlight. It was strange though, the way I felt out of place at the yoga parties, and I clocked myself making my way to my desk on those occasions. As it turned out, the studio itself wasn't my performance space: only the desk.

That holds true: give me a big sexy desk, and it becomes my platform. These days, I can keep a full waiting room distracted with how the young'uns can't read cursive, don't remember the great comics, and how the music that was pivotal in my formative years is now classic rock. I start the ball rolling, and soon strangers are talking amongst themselves, laughing, comparing the ages of their grandchildren. It turns passive time into interactive time, and it passes more enjoyably for everyone.

It's even easier to notice the performance spaces when you arrive in costume. I agree with RuPaul's we're born naked, and the rest is drag. My closet is overflowing with outfits for every conceivable occasion (and some that I haven't even thought of yet). Oh, is the podcast 80s themed? No worries. Glam event? I've got this. I even have clothes specifically for my reception job; pants I can bend in to reach all the files, high collared shirts so everyone knows I'm serious (and because my boobs have been called out at plenty of jobs). If your job comes with a specific costume, a barista apron, or high visibility vest, it becomes more obvious. When you go to pick up lunch everyone sees your cafe logo and knows you've been dealing with the rollercoaster that is the service industry. Everyone sees hi-vis guy, and knows he's doing a dirty job. Even if the barista's working on their thesis, and hi-vis guy is also in a local band, in their outfits, they are their jobs. As much as it's a plain identifier, telling people your literal business off the top, it's also a form of anonymity. When I worked at a bougie li’l donut shop, I wasn't dressed as Dawn-with-two-jobs-trying-to-make-ends-meet-in-a-chill-way: my T-shirt announced me as Chick-who-makes-those-tasty-donuts. I'd catch looks of recognition on the metro, not for me per se, but for the brand, and it felt nice. No one harbours negative feelings about donuts.

There are more subtle parts of the performance too: a friend of mine wears fake glasses just to get some extra respect in the corporate world, and I put on what I call my adult voice and serious face. I hate having to use my adult voice and serious face. Anyone who knows me, knows that I prefer being goofy, a half smile on my lips as I search for slick comebacks, or think about how beautiful everything is. In fact, I actively avoid people and situations where I have to continually draw, and reinforce boundaries. A lot of time could be saved if people did unto others, you know? Working with the public has me drop my voice by an octave, and remember not to use any vague language: clear, concise, kind, and slightly intimidating are the character directions for that performance.

This probably explains why it can be complicated making friends at work. We show up as an exaggerated aspect of ourselves, with so much of ourselves left at the door. The connections we make there can feel limited, and for over thinkers and feelers, that can feel kinda dishonest. But that's not you, dahling, they just drew you that way. (That's a nod to a Jessica Rabbit line in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I'm so old, and everyone lacks context, so I'll just tell you my references.) Remember that your work friend is also being a fraction of themselves. They're wondering if you’ll rat them out if you find out they hot box their car at lunch while you're wondering if they're onto your embezzlement scheme -- it can take a bit to find footing.

It's funny, because as it turns out, the days I have only small roles to play are often the hardest to show up for. Ahem:

In preparation for her role today as grocery-shopping-independent-adult, we find Dawn mentally spinning, wondering what to wear. “But what's my character’s motivation?” she whines. “Oh…it's acquiring food. Fuck it then.” Punk music plays as Dawn grabs clothes, thinking only of how they will cover her body. No accessories. No makeup. Probably a bindi.

During lockdown, even grocery runs seemed to deserve good costumes. It was a rare global moment, a prolonged stretch we knew was historic as we lived it. It was gritty, it was uncertain, there were dolphins in the grand canal in Venice, and it called for glamour at every opportunity.

All this to say, become aware of your performance space. Relish it, embellish it, and remember that it isn't your whole self. When you catch people in their performance spaces, enjoy the show, respect their role, and know that they are much more than they appear. And as for costumes, let the world be your stage; dress for who you are today, and see what the world brings to your party.

Catch me every Tuesday night, hanging out at Comedy on Mackay co-hosting the Open Mic at 1030 PM! Show up, sign up. It's loads of laughs!!!

FIZZ, BUBBLE, TOIL, and TROUBLE

THIS IS NEXT WEEK, BUT SPACE IS LIMITED, RESERVE YOUR SPOT NOW!

Dive into the delicious world of fermentation with Molotov Cuisine! Chef Fiona Lewis guides you through the art of transforming vegetables, fruits, herbs, and wild foraged flavors. With fresh food provided, this immersive workshop includes crafting two of your own fermented concoctions and a sparkling fermented beverage. Throughout the session, you'll savor a variety of Chef Fiona's signature fermented nibbles and sparkling drinks, experiencing the diverse flavors fermentation offers.

Take home your bubbling creations, along with comprehensive instructions, and a full appreciation for the magic of fermentation.

To fully participate, please bring three clean, 500mL Mason jars to take your creations home.

TICKETS: Showpass

Got Jokes?

New and seasoned comedians try out their best new material!

Whether you're a comedian looking for stage time or just looking for a good show to watch, this free event is perfect for anyone looking to enjoy the night! Plus, comedy makes a perfect date night: you can find out so much from a potential partner based on what they laugh at!

Come for the comedy, stay for the excellent food, and drink specials. They've got 2 mixed drinks for $10, plus other deals. Simply ask the staff, and they'll hook you up.

WHAT: Peel Pub Comedy

WHERE: Peel Pub, 1196 Peel St., Montreal, H3B 2T6

WHEN: Wednesdays, 830 PM

METRO: Peel (Green)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

The Caffeine Keeps You Dancing

Come out for a social evening of music, coffee, and community!

From 3 PM - 6 PM: Café Mosa Take Over

Enjoy the rich flavors of Specialty Colombian Coffee paired with a live DJ set curated by talented collective The Recipe Sessions. It’ll be an eclectic mix of live instruments, spoken word, and the smoothest voices.

From 6 PM - 9 PM: Café Got Soul x Talk’s Cheap A special vinyl live set presented by Cafe Got Soul. The best selection of the finest tracks that will keep the vibes flowing, and the dance going.

It's all about connection, great music, delicious coffee, and good times!

WHAT: Café Mosa X Cafe Got Soul Music Social

WHERE: Cafe Gotsoul, 3555 des Lacquiers St., Montreal, H4C 3P4

WHEN: Thursday, April 3 @ 3 PM

METRO: Lionel Groulx

TICKETS: Universe

Uncategorizable Shit Encouraged

No ukes, no acoustic guitars, no standup, no problems. (Prose, poetry, weird uncategorizable shit encouraged.) Welcome to the first of a (due to quirk of scheduling) April twofer, featuring poet Willow Cioppa, and prose stylist Josh Marquis, plus the usual assortment of Unfit For a Polite Mic types in the crowd. Come prepared to cheer and jeer.

Free show, sign up for your slot (5 mins tops) on the spot, get comfortable. There are many mics these days, but only one JRG. Follow @noukuleles on IG for more info.

WHAT: JRG “This Is Not A Coffee Shop” Open Mic, featuring Willo Cioppa & Josh Marquis

WHERE: l'Hémisphère Gauche, 217 Beaubien St. E., Montreal, H2S 1R5

WHEN: Thursday, April 3 @ 830 PM

METRO: Beaubien (Orange)

DETAILS: Facebook

Team Effort

Three teams create a play from scratch, using audience summaries to build the story. The finale? Threepio winners Polite Mutiny!

Get ready for a wild ride of improv as three friendly troupes come together to create a fully fleshed-out narrative right before your eyes!

But there’s a catch: none of the teams know what’s happening!

Each troupe will take the stage, starting fresh with an audience suggestion and continuing with only one key piece of information—a summary of what just happened, straight from YOU, the audience!

Plots twist and turn as the teams build on each other’s ideas, crafting the beginning, middle, and end in real-time. Expect the unexpected, because every moment is a surprise for both the performers and the audience!

The grand finale? Polite Mutiny—the 2024 Montreal Improv Threepio winners—will take the stage to wrap up this improv extravaganza with their signature flair.

This is improv like you’ve never seen before, and you won’t want to miss it!

Produced by Improv 4 Breakfast, featuring One Long Love Song, Imploding, and Polite Mutiny.

$8 in advance

$12 @ the door

WHAT: Polite Mutiny and Friendly Crews: A Broken Telephone Narrative

WHERE: Montreal Improv, 3714 Rue Notre Dame St. W., Montreal, H4C 1P7

WHEN: Friday, March 4 @ 930 PM

METRO: Place Saint Henri (Orange)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

Market Szn

Indulge in delicious bites from food trucks, explore unique stalls, and enjoy a stunning sunset by the beach. A perfect evening for friends, family, and fun! ✨

WHAT: Mooloolaba Sunset Market

WHERE: The Esplanade, 4557 Esplanade Ave., Montreal, H2T 2Y6

WHEN: Saturday, April 5 @ 5 PM - 830 PM

METRO: Mont Royal (Orange)

DETAILS: Facebook

Not That Bong

FYI: Bong is a term used to refer to people from Bengal. While my very cursory research shows it might once have been slightly pejorative, it seems now to stand for Bengalis in general, globalized Bengalis, and Bengalis in exile.

This celebration of the Bengali New Year is a great chance to explore culture, enjoy delicious food, and support local artisans!

Join the festivities and celebrate clothing and jewelry stalls, and of course, tasty treats!

The event will also include performances! More details about that will be shared soon.

Celebrate the rich Bengali culture, and share in the joy!

WHAT: Bong Fest

WHERE: Côte-des-Neiges Community Resource Center, 6767 Côte-des-Neiges, Montreal, H3S 2T6

WHEN: Sunday, April 6 @ 11 AM - 7 PM

METRO: Plamondon (Orange)

DETAILS: Facebook

A Show And An Open Mic Walk Into A Bar

Get ready to laugh your socks off at Comedy on Mackay 018! This is a weekly show, filled with hilarious stand-up comedy in the heart of Montreal. Our talented lineup of comedians will have you rolling in the aisles with their witty jokes and sharp humour. Don't miss out on this evening of non-stop laughter at NsurMackay. Grab your friends and come on down for a night you won't forget! This edition features ….

COMICS! There's an open mic at 1030 PM! I've joined the talented team of co-hosts, and I'm PSYCHED! Bring your funnies, bring your laughter, come hang in general! Everyone is welcome!

WHAT: Comedy on Mackay #18

WHERE: NsurMackay,

WHEN: Tuesday,

METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

World’s Smallest Comedy Night has so many cool things happening, so here are their events this week in order!

What Do You Know? Like, Seriously…

Tonight! Come to Hurley's for Trivia Night, and get bonus laughter! Put your knowledge to the test! Whether you're a history buff, a pop culture guru, or a sports fanatic, there's something for everyone. Grab a pint, enjoy delicious pub fare, and get ready to show off your trivia skills. Grab your team, and enjoy this night of comedy, friendly competition, and great company. Hosted by Vance Michel, this week features Peter Bowen, Shosho Abotouk, and Lauren Mallory.

WHAT: Trivia Night at Hurley's

WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1

WHEN: Every Wednesday @ 8 PM

METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)

RSVP: Eventbrite

Classic Coke

Beat the Monday Blues with WSC’s OG offering, The World's Smallest Comedy Night!

Enjoy a showcase of the best comedians in the city, hot up-and-comers, national and international touring comics, and surprises! Hosted by Vance Michel featuring Daras Singh, Sam Adamo, Charles M., Konstatin Chekhov, Zach Gottlieb, Mark Goodmar, Chris Venditto, Quinn Lague, and Troy Stark.

WHAT: The World's Smallest Comedy Night

WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1

WHEN: Every Monday @ 8 PM

METRO: Lucien l'Allier (Orange) & Guy-Concordia (Green)

TICKETS: Eventbrite

Dirty Monday

The Monday Night Dirty Mic is the best uncensored open mic in town. Hosted by Vance Michel, every show is an unpredictable and unique experience as a hilarious collection of comedians from newbs to pros take the stage. See the best before anyone else, and catch seasoned locals doing their freshest funnies!

Comics: show-up, sign-up