McSweeney’s List (10 May, 2023)
This week's playlist is a complication of some of the bands I've seen in concert.
My daughter and I almost saw Lizzo last week. It was going to be our first real concert together, not counting the time I took a tiny Shaina to the Jazz Festival (she hated how loud it was and we bailed).
By now the outcome of our evening is old news, but indulge me. I'd taken Friday off to ensure I could enjoy myself without looking at the clock. Shaina had returned from her latest overseas jaunt the night before, dazed and jet lagged, rallying though reluctant. In fact, she tried to sell me her ticket for $20 off, and if the concert had a later start time, I probably could've gotten it at half price. But I digress…it's what I’m paid to do. (I’m not paid.)
I got myself all gussied up, and Shaina enlisted her husband to drive her in from the burbs (the city is the one part of the world she has no interest in travelling to). I was coming out of Bonaventure to find her when her text came through:
The show is cancelled.
Pardon, what?
I've been going to concerts for *mumbles an impressive number of decades*, and this was my first non-Covid related show cancellation. Looking back, it's been an impressive streak. In the Covid times, Gogol Bordello tried to "postpone" a show until they realized what they were up against and refunded us (they'll be back in town this August for the first time in ages, and I'll be there). On the other hand I've ditched shows I had tickets for: I missed the Violent Femmes due to a bad flu, Me First & The Gimmie Gimmies (the first time) because the show started way later than we thought, and due to an irresponsible round of pre-gaming (the second time). Unfortunately I missed Aesop Rock when my concert buddy and I had an argument, and I cut off my proverbial nose and skipped it.
I get that things come up, and illness happens, and no one is perfect. Still, my head was spinning as I stood there at 7:26 PM for an 8 PM show that wasn't happening. The doors had opened at 7. This was beyond short notice.
Police cars blocked off the nearby streets, lights flashing under the evening sun. A routine response to the unscheduled disruption I'm sure, though the people milling about contemplating their next moves hardly seemed ready to riot. I was set on finding Shaina to grab a hug at the very least, the two of us on the phone comparing locations.
"I'm in front of a Starbucks."
"Well, so am I."
"Wait, what's next to your Starbucks?"
"A Sheraton"
"Ok, wrong Starbucks."
"I'm right in front of a cop car."
"Yeah, me too."
We were a modern day Abbott and Costello. We finally caught up with each other at a bus stop, and I squeezed her quickly. Her husband hadn't even made it to the highway yet, and was turning back to come get her.
Left to my own devices with a suddenly clear schedule, I didn't know what to do. I strolled back toward the metro, headlong into the couples and groups who were being drawn by the city's song. "We're already here," I heard more than one person say. An old guy is hocking bootleg concert shirts. Sunset is flashing across sunglasses, disappointed faces are mustering up their smiles and bright sides. Everyone's makeup was on point, sitters already booked, a Bell Centre priced beer already in the budget, why waste the night?
All dressed up with nowhere to go despite already being there, I leaned against a wall and considered my next move. I could go to work the next day, save my PTO, but that sounded awful. It was bad enough that I'd gotten hyped for a concert that didn't materialize, my spirit wouldn't allow me to undo a long weekend too.
My edibles hadn't kicked in yet, and it was still sunny. I considered walking home, an estimated hour trek, but I love a walk, especially in nice weather, especially waiting on edibles. I hadn't brought my headphones though, and took the easy way back.
I felt the wave of disappointment that comes when your brain doesn't get the dopamine it's been promised. Still, it's my tendency to bright side and "it could be worse" all the glasses that aren't filled to the top. I was grateful that I had the next day off, and the fact the sun was still up even by the time I got home (the lengthening days bring me so much joy). While Shaina lamented that she could've stayed on vacation longer, soon after she got home she posted a Snapchat, glad to be going to sleep early. I thought about the girl I’d seen ugly crying outside the Bell Centre, about the small kids that don't yet understand that things happen, and how to handle the feelings that come with it. I thought about the parents who had to take sad children home, or who had carefully planned their time and childcare. I'm not trying to shame Lizzo, I'm just considering the varied stories that took a detour that evening, both bad and surely good too. My disappointment was mild by comparison, though I lacked the get-up-and-go to turn the beat around (Editor’s Note: Try not to age yourself so hard.) and make it into any sort of party.
Speaking of parties, today is Shaina's birthday! I didn't buy her any fake merch (which might've been a funny gift, though it could've gone either way), so this is her surprise birthday paragraph. Whenever I count my blessings, you're at the top of the list. Happy fricken day today and fivever, Kiddo.
Shout out to me for going with the flow, to Lizzo for quickly setting a new date (June 11), and to Shaina for just being.
Dancing In The Streets
Our very own FTB Fam Naghmeh Shafiei will be performing this Friday as part of the Cuisine Ta Ville Festival.
The festival highlights migration and cultural integration issues through multidisciplinary arts, round tables, workshops, concerts, and more. Naghmeh's concert is one of the many free events offered, and it would be silly to miss it! See you there!
WHAT: Naghmeh In Concert
WHERE: Place des Festivals
WHEN: Friday, May 12, 8 PM
METRO: Place Des Arts (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
No Jokes For You
The World's Smallest Comedy Night is hosting its very own Just For Laughs Audition showcase, and you can't go. Hell, I can't go. The damn thing's sold out (catch Andrew sneaking in the back). I'm only bringing it up to shout out Abby Stonehouse, killer comic, keeper of a golden smile, and part of our FTB Fam. She'll be there knocking 'em dead, and scoring a golden ticket (or however this works). Break legs and take names (right?!).
WHAT: The World's Smallest JFL Showcase
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent, Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Friday, May 12, 730 PM
METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
Get Those Gifts
It's Mother's Day weekend, so you should probably load up on presents. For her, for you, for people you like, for Christmas if you're a pre-planner…you gettit.
Henna art, soy candles, crystals, handmade jewellery, and tons more, all from local businesses and creators!
WHAT: 6th Insiders Pop-Up
WHERE: Insiders Café & Cowork, 4451 St. Denis, Montreal, H2J 2L2
WHEN: Saturday, May 13 & Sunday, May 14, 11 AM - 7 PM
METRO: Mont Royal (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
That's 70 In Dog Years
Turbo Haüs is celebrating a bitchin' milestone, with bands and booze, as they do.
The tagline is: "Come celebrate with us or light this place on fire, dealers' choice." (McSweeney says: don't start a fire.)
WHAT: Turbo Haüs 10 Year Anniversary
WHERE: Turbo Haüs, 2040 St. Denis St., Montreal, H2X 1E7
WHEN: Saturday, May 13
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orang)
DETAILS: Facebook
Fringers Love A Lotto!
We're getting Fringey! (Editor’s Note: Dawn.) This year Forget The Box is working in partnership with the St-Ambroise Montreal Fringe Festival to keep you in the loop! We're bringing you an inside peek of the whole festival, so whether you're a seasoned Fringe Fan or just getting into the scene, we've got you covered. And for the Fringers themselves, Forget The Box will be reviewing 30 shows in this year’s festival, including Fringe and off-Fringe, which is over one quarter of the whole festival! I am so excited to be part of the review team here, and check out as many shows as possible! The reviews will be chosen through our FringeMTL Review Lottery, which is open now! The deadline is May 24th at Midnight, and the winners of the reviews will be drawn and announced soon after!
Got a show in Fringe and want some eyes on your hard work? Don’t wait! SUBMIT YOUR SHOW for a chance at one of 30 reviews!
Truth In Advertising
Mont Royal Avenue is going pedestrian only this weekend. While outlets have been reporting that it's happening "early" this year, the whole interwebz is quoting the wrong date. It's this weekend. The sign says so.
Perfect timing, since people have apparently given up on all forms of sidewalk etiquette.
The whole street is our summer backyard party, so come on over!
What’s on at The Diving Bell Social Club
Check out The Diving Bell Social Club for more details!
Final Thoughts
Every time we post a link for submissions, we get flooded by comments, messages to our personal inboxes, phone calls, the works. It leads me to believe people don't read instructions (or do, and actively choose to ignore them). It's weird. I don't get it. All I can do it write this post to try to steer everyone back on the right track.
If you want your show or event to appear on the McList, submit the info via the link below (or the big button at the top of EVERY page), and we will promo it the Wednesday before your event.
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events to catch each week in Montreal. Don’t forget to SUBMIT YOUR EVENT to be listed!
