McSweeney’s List (14 June, 2023)
Accessible Audio for McSweeney’s List will be available soon!
This week's McSweeney's (Play)List is inspired by city nights…
When people say they've lived in a lot of places, they usually mean in a global way. I have friends who have lived in different provinces, countries, and continents (which is pretty cool). When I say I've lived in a lot of places, I mean in the Greater Montreal Region (with one brief and failed experiment off-island). From Cartierville to Kirkland, Pierrefonds to Ville St. Pierre (and places less suited for alliteration), I've laid my head in a bunch of quartiers and called them home.
I've always felt safe where I lived -- relatively speaking. In Cartierville, my corner often came up in the news, and I remember seeing a man bleeding pretty heavily after a fight. In NDG I felt at home, even when there was a shooting on my street, or that time a bar was blown up at the corner. I walked tall even when I felt less than tough. On countless occasions I've waited alone for the night bus at Atwater to take me deep into the Deeg, where all the lights are out and people are sleeping, and just one guy on the street making "pss pss" sounds as I walk quickly. That guy's always where you least want him.
All this to say, I live in the Plateau now. It's been about four years, but a chunk of that time was given over to global disease, so things were weird. Now I'm taking full advantage of the area, a place I've wanted to live for decades. It's in my blood and my family folklore: before moving to NDG, my grandparents lived on Esplanade, my aunts and uncle went to elementary school steps away from where I live now.
Everyone knows the long list of Plateau perks and picadillos, including its particular stylistic taste (we don't wear high heels much here, have you noticed? We're a walking people). Residents are aware of the hidden downsides that visitors can ignore: there are mice in these walls, for instance. I hear them, my cat hears them, my landlord doesn't, because he doesn't return my calls. My cost per square foot hurts my feelings, people visiting the area don't know how sidewalks work, all the city stuff.
The biggest bonus is one I didn't expect, and now can't imagine being without. I feel safe here. Like, actually safe, late at night, alone, even a bit buzzed (or stumbling home).
Now, I've taken my drunk ass home from drinking on St. Jacques near Amazon's, down through that underpass and over to Walkley. I felt "unlikely to be harmed", which is (I now realize) not the same as safe.
After a long day of Fringing on Saturday, I was taking my leave around 1 AM when our ever vigilant Creative Director Andrew Jamieson told me to be extra careful walking home. I promised him that I wouldn't even turn on my giant headphones, and he reminded me that they could be used as a weapon. In my particular few blocks though, the caution is wise but unwarranted. As I walked home, the streets were still filled with people, laughing, talking loudly. The windows still had lights on, some had music too. On one recessed basement terrasse a group I've grown accustomed to seeing was sitting under their umbrella, drinking coffee, eating snacks, talking quietly. On Mont Royal, closed to traffic through the summer, people are strolling and sitting, eating, biking, and it feels like evening.
It's foreign to me, this vivacious late night life. I've spent so many nights in so many parts of Montreal staring out my lone lit window into a sea of sleeping homes. There are so many parts of town that shut down early, where if you do hear something late at night, it can't be good. While the Plateau is invigorating my life in ways I predicted and in beautiful ways that I didn't, my favourite surprise is what a treasure it is to spread my wings among my fellow night owls, our feathers flocking together and creating a sense of home I've never had before.
Post Script: I've finished my reviews, and now all that's left for me to do at Fringe is party. I want to thank all the Artists for sharing their Art, but special thanks go to Samara, Nisha Coleman, Valery Boisvert, Kristin Govers', and Tony Molesworth, for making my first full Fringe a heartwarming and inspiring experience. Thanks to you, I've gained a new appreciation, and will be following your successes for years to come. Please keep doing what you're doing. Not only does it allow me to do what I do, but it gives me faith in the Art scene. The response has touched my heart in ways I never conceived of, and I have felt the impact of my words for the first time maybe ever. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Makes Sense When You Think About It
The perennial Fringe favourite 13th Hour is on right now! Billed as "the country’s earliest morning show", the Fringe Afterparty starts at 1 AM. With Eleven-Second Dance Parties, their famous Money Wheel, Fringe performers and Fringe lovers, it promises to be a wild time. It's free, it's bilingual, and 18+
WHAT: 13th Hour
WHERE: Mainline Theatre, 3997 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2W 1Y4
WHEN: Tonight - Saturday June 17 (into Sunday), 1 AM
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
Forty Is The New Whatever-You-Want-It-To-Be
Ageing is funny -- in an absurdist kind of way.
Sitting and crying about it isn't cute (and it gives you wrinkles), so come laugh it up and earn your crows feet. Hosted by Comedians Monica Hamburg and Jennifer June Chapman, the lineup includes Kate Bradley, Dawn Ford, Sharon Beaumont, and Johanne Pelletier. Giggle till you pee a little.
WHAT: Funny Over Forty: Exceptional & Exhausted
WHERE: Saint-Houblon, 5414 Gatineau Ave., Montreal, H3T 1X5
WHEN: Friday, June 16, 8 PM
METRO: Côte Des Neiges (Blue)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Don't Call Me Shirley
The Frankies are the FringeMTL awards. A panel of nifty locals have been watching shows, taking notes, making categories and picking faves. Come watch folks win awards, and stay for an epic dance party with DJ Adam Reider! Hosted by Queen Bee Amy Blackmore, and Kenny Streule. This is a free event!
Photo by Cindy Lopez, winners of the Spirit of the FRINGE 2022 prize.
WHAT: Frankie Awards
WHERE: Club Soda, 1225 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2X 2S6
WHEN: Sunday, June 18, Awards @ 10 PM, Party 12 AM - 3 AM
DETAILS: Facebook
STILL GOGO-GOING
The FTB Fam has been super busy lately. We're covering things, performing in things, planning some super secret surprisingly special things for y'all. As a result, maybe we haven't been plugging our fundraiser enough. Isn't that always the way? Always doing so much for others, we haven't been prioritizing ourselves, ya feel? So allow me to remind you that we do all that we do with zero dollars, and we'd like to be even better than we are, paying contributors, improving our tech game, and becoming an even better place to promote talented Montrealers!
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events to catch each week in Montreal. Don’t forget to SUBMIT YOUR EVENT to be listed!
