McSweeney’s List (30 August, 2023)
Accessible Audio for McSweeney’s List will be available soon!
This week’s McSweeney’s (Play)List is songs about karma, baby.
Years ago I loaned a friend a chunk of money. All chunks being relative, it was an amount with more digits than I was comfortable with, one that I was in a rare (and temporary) position to have on hand. She would lose her business if she didn't come up with it in time. We were on the phone and she was panicking, frantically running through her options, but she wasn't asking me for the cash because frankly, I don't think she knew I had it. When I offered it to her, she was taken aback. She was surprised and grateful, and in a rare instance of thinking before speaking, I said "hey, don't worry about it. I know you would do the same for me," and she agreed that she would. The thing that hung in the pregnant silence that followed was that we both knew she wouldn't.
Before anyone gives me too much credit, I want to clarify that while this was an act of kindness, it was also (maybe mostly) a power move. She had to take that money from me knowing in her heart that she was accepting a blessing that she herself would not bestow. In hindsight I see the added petty cake icing that she perceived me as "lesser-than" in many ways, and here was this inferior giving her a hand out of a hole. I basically bought myself a moment of moral superiority, but I was also betting on her to carry that moment and sprout it into personal growth.
I'm not a Bible gal but there is a nugget in there that repeats itself in my heart often. It's the Do Unto Others bit. (I didn't know where The Golden Rule came from exactly. Turns out it's Matthew 7:12 "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.") I'm not implying that I'm super good, or super charitable or any of that. In fact, this rule often leads me to giving people the things I want whether or not it's what they want, resting a whole lot on the hope that they understand what I'm trying to get across. Holding this credo close to my heart however, does make me conscious of who can be relied upon to reciprocate, and who expects things selfishly.
Years ago I dated a friend of mine. We'd been great friends for years, and after simultaneous bad breakups we consolidated our lives for a moment, shacking up for six months. We weren't in love, but we were content and comfortable, healing from heartbreak. When I broke it off, it was the proverbial Band-Aid, a conversation and a plan to move out in short order. I'd rented a room from a friend, and my first night there was terrible. There was frost on the inside of my window. The leaseholder was M.I.A., at his girl's and ignoring his phone. We found out later that the previous roommate had left in a mood of sorts, slicing wires as they went. I got no sleep that night, and the next day when I told the man whose house I'd just left, he invited me over for a warm sleep. He gave me his bed and my space as he went about his day, no awkwardness, no ire, just what a friend does for a friend. We are family to this day, he and I, a mismatched brother and sister team that trade money like water, laugh and argue, bound by the knowledge that neither one of us will ever be without a support system.
At the other extreme come the people so accustomed to receiving that they expect the world to be graciously served to them on a platter. It's the definition of entitlement. You'll recognize these people in your life by their tendency to tell you about their lives in vivid, overblown detail while ignoring your narrative. They ask for favours but never have time to do any for others. They want you to work for free or barter, but they'll invoice you so fast your head will spin. It's a curious phenomenon. I've often said that I would like to wield that arrogance for a moment, as I imagine it feels quite grand and appears (all too often) effective. It's a powerful potion, and a little goes a very long way. I find myself watching quietly from the sidelines as people prop themselves up on unstable foundations, creating hype before focusing on craft, hustling numbers and sales without ever worrying about moving hearts. Sure, the illusion can appear formidable, it can even hold up for a short time, but the fact of the matter is that people don't remember what you say, they remember how you made them feel when you said it. Social glory seekers may have a brief spot in the sun, but in the long-run they will lose to those who are better team players, equally talented people who know how to give as well as get.
I'm not making this up based on karma theory. As Editor-in-Chief here at FTB I can assure you that we get wild asks with little or nothing on the table in return. Most obvious are the giant corporate festivals that want us to cover them (in depth. Some come with their own "coverage requirements" in the request.) To them we're just free advertising. They never shared, they never name dropped us, and that makes sense because corporations are assholes. More interesting are the emerging artists seeking coverage and then acting as though they've done us a favour. It's a learning experience, watching the way people manage themselves in the world, seemingly unaware that in some circles your reputation truly is all you have.
When I go to the events of people who I know to be truly community focused, truly reciprocal and trustworthy people, there's joy in the room. People approach each other with gratitude and honest speech. They arrive ready for human connection and artistic appreciation. They're there to support and enjoy. It's gratifying to see those people moving up in their various ranks. As an observer with some inside knowledge in my back pocket, I notice that the people gaining real traction and earning deserved accolades are also the first ones to give to others. Behind their backs people speak not only of their talents and accomplishments, but of the quality of their humanity. I also see the others, the cart-before-horse, me-me-me types, and I can't help but notice the way people react to the mention of their names. And I can't help but notice when their names come up less and less…
They say not to lend money to a friend unless you're willing to lose both the money and the friend. Well, I got that chunk of change back, but I did lose that friendship. The lesson I took with me, though, was priceless, and at the end of the day, I still offer people openings for mutual back scratching -- trust building, community fostering, little things -- and watch how they run with that ball.
People are watching. They are trading tales like they're trying to catch 'em all. The same way I have a not-so-secret list of Venues I Don't Fuck With, I have an even-less-secret list of People I Perceive To Be Interested Only In Themselves, and not the community at all. My very public, shout-it-from-the-rooftops list is made up of those who are prepared to give at least as much as they are willing to take. Those who understand that a follower count is not the same as a network. For those beautiful few, I will bend over backwards. So here's to those who restore faith, who uphold their communities by virtue of their noble spirits and thoughtful actions. Those who can be called upon and will respond with a smile and not a sigh, those who will come with food from their own cupboards, or the strength of their own hands. Without you, we are hopeless beasts.
IT'S A LADYFEST-TRAVAGANZA!
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IT'S A LADYFEST-TRAVAGANZA! <<>>
Some Of Everything!
Scripted sketch comedy and off the cuff improv take the stage as This & That returns to Ladyfest! Featuring improv by Hot Goss, sketch comedy by award-winning troupe, Tongues, sketch / improv by Maxen Jack-Monroe, and (even more!) sketch by headliner Eve Parker Finley.
Buy another round and stay where you are, because Ladyfest continues with Bridgerton, Improvised at 830, immediately following This & That.
WHAT: This & That: An Improv and Sketch Comedy Show
WHERE: The Diving Bell Social Club, 3956 St. Laurent Blvd., 3rd Floor, Montreal, H2W 1Y3
WHEN: Wednesday, August 30, Doors @ 630 PM, Show @ 7 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Anything Can Happen!
Priddy Playful Productions puts on fully improvised plays, including their most recent production Once Upon a Time and Never Again… An Improvised Fairytale at the 2023 St-Ambroise Montreal FRINGE Festival. As part of this year's Ladyfest they're performing Bridgerton, Improvised. Using an audience suggestion, the show will be made up of two stories inspired by the Bridgerton-universe. Already an award winner, this performance will entertain whether you're already a diehard fan of the show, or have no idea what I'm talking about. Come for the secrets, and scandals, and to see who will be caught in rather… compromising situations.
Content warning: Improvised content. May contain coarse language, simulated violence, sexual content and mature themes (or it may not… it is improvised after all!)
WHAT: Bridgerton, Improvised
WHERE: The Diving Bell Social Club, 3956 St. Laurent Blvd., 3rd Floor, Montreal, H2W 1Y3
WHEN: Wednesday, August 30, Doors @ 815 PM, Show @ 830 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
I Am Also Super And Very Sleepy
Monica Hamburg and Jennifer June Chapman are hosting Funny Over Forty: Exceptional And Exhausted at Ladyfest! Feeling greedy not limiting yourself to one-mid-life crisis a day? This one's for you! Stand-up, storytelling, and stereotype bashing! The venue offers great drinks (can confirm) and tasty, flavoured popcorn (I must find it and eat it). Guests include Dawn Ford, Sharon Beaumont, Clare Ann Higgins, Jimmy Phule, Marilyn DT, Monika Schneider, and Ariel De Roo.
WHAT: Funny Over Forty: Exceptional And Exhausted
WHERE: The Diving Bell Social Club, 3956 St. Laurent Blvd., 3rd Floor, Montreal, H2W 1Y3
WHEN: Thursday, August 31, 7 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
I Will Be Going High
Women of Colour (and Friends!) are expressing their comedic voices in new and vibrant ways!
They Go Low, We Go Laugh is a variety show where folx of colour and marginalized identities may do stand-up, improv, storytelling, solo sketch, a poem, a monologue, a song, you name it! - all in the name of shining a little bit more light in this world. Sketch Comedy (and some Stand-Up!) by Sara Meleika, Portia Karegeya, Mbissine Deme & Guled Abdi. Plus stand-up by Sloan Kooshan, Joanna Selvarajah, Carol, and more!
Buy another round and get comfy, Tales of Gender Affirmation is up next!
WHAT: They Go Low, We Go Laugh
WHERE: The Diving Bell Social Club, 3956 St. Laurent Blvd., 3rd Floor, Montreal, H2W 1Y3
WHEN: Friday, September 1, Doors @ 815 PM, Show @ 830 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
I Live At The Diving Bell Now
After a smoke break, bathroom break, and a fresh drink, get back to your table for Tales of Gender Affirmation Ladyfest Edition! A comedy storytelling showcase of trans, non-binary, queer and gender non-conforming comedians! Whether it's about dating, sex, jobs, clothes, family, or doctors visits, these tales about gender identity from gender diverse people surprise audiences because they are so relatable! Hosted by Alo Azimov, this showcase will feature Rickie, Oldin, Marlyne, Leslie, Melissa G, Becca Redden, and Tranna Wintour! Stay late to join the Karaoke Dance Party!
WHAT: Tales of Gender Affirmation Ladyfest Edition
WHERE: The Diving Bell Social Club, 3956 St. Laurent Blvd., 3rd Floor, Montreal, H2W 1Y3
WHEN: Friday, September 1, Doors @ 945 PM, Show @ 10 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
💙 Ladyfest Safer Space Statement 💙
Ladyfest Montreal strives to organize comedy events that are respectful and enjoyable experiences for all to laugh, connect and grow. As such Ladyfest is committed to providing an environment free of harassment or discrimination.
We recognize we can only work towards creating a Safer Space, and that it is challenging to guarantee an incident-free festival. With that, below are the steps one can take should an incident occur.
If an issue arises with regards to the CONTENT of a production, please don’t hesitate to speak with the HOST of the event. If needed, Ladyfest Montreal will also provide the event’s host support in addressing the concern and/or harm.
If an issue arises with regards to SAFETY, please approach a DIVING BELL STAFF member. The Diving Bell Staff are always there to support anyone who feels unsafe or uncomfortable about anything that happens in or around the space. You may also send an email to info@divingbellsocial.com if you have any questions or concerns. They are additionally able to check camera coverage if needed, and are happy to go through the footage with anyone who reaches out.
For those who are hard of hearing, deaf, visually impaired or blind, please reach out to us before the scheduled show you would like to attend and we can discuss what accessibility measure we can implement for you.
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events to catch each week in Montreal!
