McSweeney’s List (22 November, 2023)
Accessible Audio for McSweeney’s List will be available soon!
Age is more than a number. I know, I know, that's contrary and awful, but I've given this a lot of thought over many (many) years. That's the crux of the matter of course: my perspective has been forged in the fires of time and self aware experience. So gather round the flames, Young’Uns, and take a moment to listen to your Elder.
I'm on the verge of one of those momentous birthdays. On one hand I hate it, because birthdays are like NYE in that whatever I do will never feel BIG enough (Editor’s Note: Dawn does plenty of big things.) and the bigger the number, the greater the letdown. On the other hand, I've noticed a recent acceleration in confidence. I've found myself standing very firmly in my own shoes and walking with my shoulders back as I contemplate where I am in my life.
Let's be very clear and honest: we all understand that age is inevitable and maturity is (unfortunately) optional. We also harbour plenty of secret standards about what's acceptable at one age, and not at another. And, specifically speaking, what’s not acceptable at one age for a woman, and acceptable at that same age for a man. I've known party girls who one day crossed a threshold only they knew about, threw out all their mini skirts and never drank from a pitcher again. They stopped laughing about the memories made during those years (and that was weird), but they'd simply aged out. Men don’t suffer this.
About a decade ago, looking at my closet, I realized that I had an awful lot of plaids and hoodies for a woman of my age. (Editor’s Note: And this was a decade ago.) I had two choices: radically change to fit society’s expectations of what “a woman of my age” should look like, or lean the fuck in. It should come as no surprise that I leaned the fuck in with motherfucking bells on.
It should, also, come as no surprise that when my younger self envisioned who I would be at this stage of adulthood, there wasn't a picket fence in sight. In fact, in one of my most complete visualizations, 16 year old me saw Grown-Ass Me wearing a shirt with candy coloured feather trim. I saw myself holding court at a dimly lit table with the din of a bar around us, artist friends and hangers-on surrounding me in joyful creative discourse. How to fulfil that vision? How the hell was I supposed to know? I was 16…I didn't actually know much of anything.
I'm closer to that vision than I’ve ever been. I am living the life I wanted, and the life that suits me best, and I don't care if people look at me and know that my way is not for them. How did I get here? Great question! I would almost say accidentally, but that would be a cop out. Over and over I have made the moves that resonate with me, not the choices someone else might advise. And every step I have taken in earnestness has led me to the next. It can't be rushed, or faked. Just as voyages are a sequence of steps, character is forged over time.
I admit that at some point, without my realizing, part of my brain shifted to Safe Mode. A little voice, shrill and persistent, (Editor’s Note: Not little.) lodged in my head telling me that I should reorganize some priorities. Maybe I was too old to continue following my gut, my heart. Maybe it was time to think in tangibles, practicalities, make logical decisions. After all, I thought, iM nOt GeTtInG aNy YoUnGeR. Blech. So, about ten years ago, (Editor’s Note: Christ, this is long.) I was really thinking about buying a house in an off-island suburb, with a man who didn't tickle my bits physically or soulfully. Especially physically. If I had, I wouldn't be here telling you this. No, literally: I would've never met Andrew Jamieson, I would never have become an essayist. And yes, I've recently realized that shrill dumb voice has affected me I'm various ways since, but now that I see that, I can choose to tune back in with myself. To live in harmony with one's own heart is the only marching music worth stepping to, and everytime I choose that, I am strengthened.
While my birthday isn't quite yet, this edition marks a special day for my precious McList. It's List 40, which deserves number balloons and a party where at least one person has to call around and apologize the next day. (Editor’s Note: I never apologize.) That's about 40 000 words of essay, and 40 weeks ago I was not an essayist. It's one of those things where you become what you do, and you get better at it by practicing…over time. By failing, and fixing, growing, and gritting teeth. It's understanding that having a day of panic every week where I'm afraid I've said all I have to say, is part of my process. It's also understanding that everytime I overcome that fear, I discover something about myself. It's important to note that if I was no better today than when I started, I would've long since walked away. Because only idiots slam their heads against walls and call it dedication. And yes, this is about more than essays.
The things you are dreaming of will happen as long as you continue to make the choices that feel right to you…despite the intrusive thoughts that would have you believe otherwise. Whatever feeds your passion, whatever keeps you driven to learn more, to feel more, to explore more. Keep following that. It is your North Star. Keep your dreams. The status quo checklist only brings joy to status quo people.
When you're young, people say shit like “you’ll see when you get older” or “you’ll grow out of it” and what they really mean is that they expect you to one day agree with them and their choices, and their recommendations for your life. With age you gain the authority of your own past choices, and the confidence for your future ones. I have made it this far, my way, and I intend to make it further, on no one's terms but my own.
You will catch me saying age ain't nothing but a number loudly and often. Because I want to forget my age. I want you to forget my age. But I also wish that everyone who called me a weirdo or a smartass when I was younger could see what a gloriously mouthy slice of fire I’ve turned out to be, ‘cuz I am the Star of My Show, and I've got decades in the business.
SONGBIRD
Singer, songwriter, and friend of the proverbial show Naghmeh is releasing a new single and a music video! Come out and celebrate the release of Burn, as she takes the stage with her full band. I spoke with her a couple of months back about music, life, and all that good stuff, so take a look at that article here.
The night starts off with Uñas Escondidas, a folk rock trio singing hauntingly beautiful songs.
The night will close with a DJ set by lil hailey.
WHAT: Naghmeh - Uñas Escondidas - DJ lil hailey
WHERE: The Diving Bell Social Club, 3956 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2W 1Y3
WHEN: Wednesday, November 22, Doors @ 730 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
TRIPLE THREAT
Get ready for a night of live music, love, and light! This show can be called magnetic, energetic, engaging, and vibrating with gratitude! Plus, there will be “interactive activities” that I don't know anything about, but do know they exist. I GOT THE SCOOP!
I spoke with Big Daddy Queen Power by phone to find out what this show means to her, and what she hopes for the future.
This is our first “Expansion” event. It’s everything from expanding ourselves, expanding community, expanding by breaking out of our comfort zones… It’s growing, really, but not in a linear way, it’s something more exponential.
My biggest dream is to have a space in Montreal where people can come to express themselves through art in a non-judgement way and unapologetic way. This stems from being somebody who started playing music very late in my life. I was 26 years old, I had never really touched an instrument. I decided I wanted to get into music, and it was such a liberating experience for me, and quite healing. I would love to be able to offer a space where people feel safe to experience that same freedom and journey of self-love through the arts.
And now, meet your entertainers!
Montreal-based singer-songwriter Amira Liza is a multidisciplinary artist dedicated to all kinds of forms of expression. Amira also practices theater and dance. Influenced by her mother who is also a singer, she felt the need and the inspiration to share her perception of life. She chooses to play with various hip-hop, jazz, Andalusian, afro and soul sounds and influences to compose her titles. She picked up a guitar at 13, and her identity as a singer-songwriter was born. From slamming/rapping to singing, Amira is also multilingual and sings in French, English, Arabic and Spanish.
Big Daddy Queen Power is a Korean-Italian singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist lucky enough to be born and raised in the vibrant city of Tiohti:áke (Montreal). Her music is inspired by experiences of self-love, growth, and friendships representing light and darkness by exploring different avenues of power in both polarities. A believer of magic and manifestation, Big Daddy is on a mission to elevate the community through joy and playfulness and to spread love through her music, with the greater goal of facilitating an experience of Expansion for the community and those who share the journey with her. In addition to performing, she also has a dream of opening a Creative Community Centre in Montreal, a place where people can come together and feel inspired to express themselves freely, learn music and other art forms, while allowing their creativity to flourish without judgment. She believes Music is a universal language of love as it fosters deep connections among people of all different backgrounds. Loved by the ladies, wanted by The Man, Big Daddy's voice will touch you in places you've never been touched. Big Daddy will satisfy your every musical desire and oh so much more...
Lea Keeley is a singer-songwriter whose soul-stirring performances enchant and captivate her audience. What sets her apart is the remarkable strength of her voice, which exudes the passion and fiery soul akin to legendary artists like Aretha Franklin and Stevie Wonder. In her solo shows, she skillfully employs a loop pedal to craft rich harmonies, and catchy melodies to transport her listeners to a different realm. Keeley’s songwriting delves deep into profound themes, exploring the cosmic duality of existence, the importance of self-love, and the power of Mother Nature. Beyond her musical artistry, Keeley has made a lasting impact on her community by founding her own open mic at Parc Jeanne Mance during the pandemic. She created a safe space for artists to freely express themselves in a time where genuine human connection was desperately needed. In doing so, Keeley has emerged as a driving force in the local artistic scene, being a guiding light for others to follow their passion, while unifying and exemplifying the incredible power of music, and vulnerable human connection.
WHAT: Expansion
WHERE: Le Petit Campus, 57-B Prince Arthur St. E., Montreal, H2X 1B4
WHEN: Thursday, November 23, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)
TICKETS: LePointDeVente
I LIKE FUNNY BROADS
Are you told you look great… for your age?
Are you feeling greedy not limiting yourself to one-mid-life crisis?
Are you up for a great night of comedy with hilarious women?
It's time for stand-up, storytelling, and stereotype-bashing! Monica Hamburg and Jennifer June Chapman host a lineup of women of a certain age for laughs that pull no punches. This show slayed at Ladyfest, and sells out fast, so don't wait! The guests are TBA.
I caught up with Monica to find out why this show is so important:
We think it's important to showcase women - and middle-aged women. And our subtitle of ‘Exceptional & Exhausted’ is key to what we're trying to do with this show: we both like who we are & things we've done - and also: ya know, we're quite tired.
WHAT: Funny Over Forty: Exceptional and Exhausted
WHERE: Saint-Houblon Côte-des-Neiges, 5414 Gatineau Ave., Montreal, H3T 1X5
WHEN: Friday, November 25, Doors @ 730 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Côte-des-Neiges (Blue)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
ART BABY
I knew this episode was coming out, but when the notification popped up, I was giddy like I was surprised. Abby Stonehouse had Forget The Box Creative Director Andrew Jamieson on her House of Stone Podcast! Two of my fave people sitting down and chatting about art in my favourite format, say no more! Well, I will say a little more. Abby's pod is always great, and Andrew is (generally) a joy to listen to, so I would be recommending this episode even if they hadn't said nice things about me. But they did say nice things about me, so I must insist that you enjoy it yourself! Also, tell a friend!
WHAT: House of Stone Podcast with Andrew Jamieson “Art Baby” - Season 2 Episode 6
WHERE: Wherever you listen to podcasts, plus YouTube
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
