McSweeney’s List (24 January 2024)
I'm skeptical of -- well, I'm skeptical about a lot of things, really. It's a practiced trait, developed because I'm inherently gullible and open hearted, leading friends to shake their heads and say things like shouldn't you know better by now?, or, how are you still like this? (They say it with love, I assure you.) But I digress… What I was trying to say is that I'm skeptical of grand gestures.
“What's the craziest thing you've ever done for love?” The question came from a dear friend who presents as jaded, but is really a ridiculous romantic at heart. Interesting for me, as I've rediscovered my squishy romantic centre after years of denying its existence. The question throws me, and for a moment my mind blanks. Um, well, I made a whole human out of, and for, love. I've promised marriage, uh, a few times, and despite never going through with it, I meant the promises wholeheartedly at the time.
“No, I mean like taking a plane to surprise your lover overseas.” What the fuck, Bro? Who does shit like that? Well, my friend, apparently, but my brow is furrowed and imagining it makes me uncomfortable. It sounds kind of like an anxious attachment to me. And what if the beloved has a dentist appointment that day, and now their face is numb and they feel bruised and ugly, and here you are, shiny and hopeful? It sounds awful.
I admit that I used to be a sucker for grand gestures. Rom-Coms and romance novels set the standards before I had any life experience. When I did begin to dip my toes into real life love stories, it didn't take long before a dude wise beyond his years told me that I was the type of person who couldn't have the wool pulled over my eyes unless I wanted it there. It’s stuck with me all these years, and I can see in hindsight how many times I desperately wanted that wool over my eyes.
I tell my jetsetting romantic friend that my dysfunctions get me caught up with equally damaged people. People whose superpower is apologizing, because they screw up so consistently and dramatically that they've had to learn how to create magic to make you forget. Every grand gesture I've experienced has been a desperate attempt at forgiveness. A goodbye letter that ended in a marriage proposal after I'd sent him packing (I did not accept that one). When I moved out of that spot years later, I found cut out cardboard hearts tucked in the most obscure places, leftovers from another of the same man's apologies. Another classic gesture, quick and easy, is the sudden heartfelt pledge of love. It's a movie trope and a life trope, begging the question of which emulates which. When a relationship has been uncertain, lacking, half broken, a sudden I love you, out of the blue, is supposed to be the magic spell that erases the past and starts the clock again in earnest. In that scenario, it's the phrase offered to fill in all the blanks that have been left by half-assed actions. Sure, that shit hits me in the guts and makes me cry a single slow tear while emo music plays in the background, but I won't succumb to the hypnosis. At least, not recently. But I don't say any of that out loud.
“Your only dysfunction,” said my tough friend with the poet’s soul, “is that you're a writer.” I don't understand, but I like it, so I'm inclined to agree. “You do things for the story.” I can't deny it. Even at the outset of a story, from job interview to blind date, I tend to be able to see where it will go, how my character will develop or suffer. I throw myself in, wholeheartedly because that's how stories happen. Half-hearted characters do not make the cut. They neither propel the story nor compel the reader. But I'm learning to be more selective about the plotlines I choose.
My range as a character has narrowed as I’ve grown, so I can only play Myself these days (thankfully), even in professional settings (less thankfully). And Myself is different now than she used to be. For instance, if I was ever a tragic beauty with tears rolling down perfectly pink cheeks, I assure you that now if I cry at a movie for 5 minutes, my face will be swollen for a day and a half. As a result, I will choose plotlines unlikely to make me sad, or confused. Similarly, where I was once young and angry, I am now far less of both, and I'm at least evolved enough to feel badly when I let the remnants of my rage get the better of me. As such, I will not be pursuing plotlines where fighting and making up is part of the love language. I will not be misreading dramatics for passion, nor will I tolerate a lack of passion. (Characters who lack passion are disdainful, and should be killed, literarily speaking, or kept as background characters in crowded rooms. But again, I digress...)
So I'll still be doing things for the story. (It's my inescapable nature and I wouldn't have it any other way.) Now though, I'm feeling quite conscious of the fact that there are countless stories out there, and not enough time to read them all.
JOKES
Chris Venditto hosts the third edition of Comedy Night at the Pigeon Club. The always hilarious Walter J. Lyng headlines, and the lineup of openers will have you laughing too! Featuring great opening acts like Troy Stark, Kyra Carleton, Rajiee Chelliah and Paul Baluyot.
WHAT: Comedy Night at the Pigeon Cafe #3
WHERE: Pigeon Cafe, 6321 Service Rd. N., #148, Pointe Claire, H9R 5A5
WHEN: Wednesday, January 24, 8 PM
DETAILS: Facebook
Lounging and Jamming
We are dusting off those couch cushions & trying something new! NEXT LOUNGE from 7PM - Late!
BRING YOUR INSTRUMENTS & your dancing feet!
WHAT: The Lounge Open Mic & Jam
WHERE: Poubelle Magnifique, 1221 Crescent St, Montreal, Quebec H3G 2B1
WHEN: Thursday, January 25, 7PM - LATE
METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green)
INFO: Instagram
LOVE & LIGHT
A night of live music, co-creation, love, and light, Expansion returns for its third edition. The show can be characterized as magnetic, energetic, engaging and vibrating in gratitude. There will be a mix of performing arts and community building activities. Everyone is welcome. Featuring three stellar Montreal artists.
Avery Jane is a Montreal-based singer/songwriter originally from Victoria BC. Her music is inspired by many different musical genres such as jazz, pop, folk, neo-soul, modern and classic Rhythm and Blues, which have amalgamated to create her unique personal sound and style. After years of performing in big bands, musical theatre, folk duos and indie-jazz bands, she relocated her career to Montreal and continued to focus on music and songwriting. In the fall of 2019, Avery began performing the pub circuit in Montreal as a solo act while honing her skills and writing original music. During the pandemic, her work changed drastically from performance-focused to creating original music. Check out this feature I wrote about Avery in August!
Jad Moura is a multidisciplinary designer with a Bachelor of Architecture from the American University of Sharjah. Leading their own design practice, helping international clients in finding design solutions across multiple design disciplines. The focus is about building bridges between various professions from art and music, architecture and design, film and animation. Their work revolves around virtual realities and digital spaces to present solutions and projects from multiple aspects of the community. They aim to expand their knowledge and utilize technology as a medium to provide personalized and optimized solutions to the needs of the people they build relationships with.
Marine has been involved in the Montreal street dance scene since 2015. She has experience as a choreographer, has taught several house dance workshops at Vanier College, Concordia University, and other organisations. She's also taught both aqua and dance fitness classes at the YMCA, and regularly plans street dance community events in Montreal. Marine believes in the power and importance of art as a vector of social change.
As always, the show is produced and hosted by the ever-shiny Big Daddy Queen Power!
WHAT: Expansion
WHERE: Petit Campus, 57-B Prince Arthur St E., Montreal, H2X 1B4
WHEN: Friday, January 26, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)
TICKETS: Le Point de Vente
WRASSLING
2024 kicks off with the 90th edition of BATTLEWAR (um, if you don’t count the various Pro-Wrestling Jams or BATTLEWAR Block Party events, but like, this is 90). It's a new year, and BATTLEWAR has a resolution: Continue to rule.
Get ready for heart-racing, gut-punching, face-melting professional wrestling action, featuring Michel Plante, “Mr. VIP” Mitch Thompson, Karl Jepson, “Mononc” St-Jacques, The Wonder Boys and BATTLEWAR Champion, Benjamin Tull!
BATTLEWAR Championship: Benjamin Tull (c) vs. "Mononc" St-Jacques!
BATTLEWAR Tag Team Championship 2/3 Falls Match: The Wonder Boys (c) vs. The Grays!
Singles Action: "Mr. VIP" Mitch Thompson vs. Karl Jepson!
Singles Encounter: Matt Falco vs. Travis Toxic!
Rivals Collide: "Flying" Frank Milano vs. Leon Saver!
WHAT: BATTLEWAR 90: Live Pro Wrestling
WHERE: Les Foufounes Électriques, 87 St. Catherine St. E., Montreal, H2X 1K5
WHEN: Sunday, January 28, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
CENTER STAGE
Playwright Joseph Shragge brings a darkly absurd fable to the stage. This is the story of a woman and her ten-year-old son, who move to Montreal after the loss of her partner, and home. Their relationship strains when the son befriends a man who loiters at the nearby depanneur…and by a mysterious arrival at their doorstep.
WHAT: Ricki
WHERE: Centaur Theatre, 453 Saint Francois Xavier St, Montreal, Quebec H2Y 2T2
WHEN: Preview: Tuesday, January 30, 8 PM Opening night: Wednesday, January 31, 8 PM
METRO: Place-d’Armes (Orange)
TICKETS: Centaur
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
