McSweeney’s List (14 February 2024)
Guys, it's been a year. I mean, literally. This is my 52nd McSweeney’s List. No weeks off, no backlogged pre-written articles. This has been the most dedicated writing practice I've ever had.
Unlike a diary or journal, this article has parameters, so I can't get lost in my meanderings, cannot drown in emotions. Much like a journal, I'm always writing about what's on my mind, what's happening in my life but here I write about it in a universal way. I try to distil my personal experience into something we can all relate to, and maybe even learn from. Those closest to me can sometimes make the connection between my real life and my written word. Other times, in an effort to be seen clearly, I tell my besties exactly what inspired the piece. This article is both a confessional, and the words of wisdom I am trying to tell myself (by telling you).
You, Dear Reader, have unwittingly been a part of a very pivotal year in my life. I've learned a lot, and the growing spotlight of what I know has only left me to understand how much I'm still unaware of. We are infinite onions, each layer a new experience, new understanding of ourselves. There will never be enough time for all the beauty, so don't stall. This year I shook myself out of stasis. I made changes, the ramifications of which are still echoing and unfinished, and you were here for that. You have read through my confusion, my hope, my fear, and the actions I've taken despite those fears. You have unknowingly been a part of my pep talks to self, and my hopeless days that begged for a reason to write.
One interesting thing I noticed through this process is that at some point every week (Every. Week.) I am struck by the conviction that I have said all I can say. That I not only lack inspiration, but that I have reached the very end of my creativity. That the imposter syndrome of being a writer has finally proven itself to be entirely true, that I must pack away my dreams and my scribbles and give myself over to Normal Adulthood™️. Allow me to repeat: Every. Week. And yet, this is my 52nd week. Never once has the temporary block (or the fear that blows it up into an entire tragic story) actually won. Time after time I have seen that I am more capable than my shitty inner critic, or my self-defeating fear, would have me believe. That's the kind of lesson that jumps into the real world and hits me in my everyday life. Admittedly, I'm having a harder time applying the wisdom IRL, but at least now I have a seed. Now I can look back and say hey, for all the doubt, for all the anxiety, remember that it's always one step at a time into uncertainty, and that's ok. In fact, it's better than ok, because the only way to learn the things you don't know, is to keep pressing into the unknown. Fear is part of the process. Courage is doing it anyway. Practice builds confidence. Being honest with yourself is the only way to be honest with others.
Changes happen. Changes must happen. If we’re doing ourselves justice by diving deep and evolving upwards, change is inevitable. The only time change is comfortable, is in hindsight. As I've said before (and will definitely say again), a caterpillar turns to goo in their chrysalis. It doesn't pop into its changing room and strap on some stylish wings, it motherfucking liquifies. It doesn't shed its skin, it all but dies and regenerates. It's some sci-fi horror shit. But we know the butterfly will emerge, so we get high pitched with joy and set our cameras to macro. I do not believe the caterpillar has any clue about its future. I think it makes a cozy bed one day with the intention of taking a nap, and slips instead into surreal suffering and hopelessness, convinced of its own demise. Now, assuming continuity of consciousness (yes, in a caterpillar, just follow me here), the butterfly pops out into the sun one day with a holy shit! I made it! I didn't think I would! Guys, do you know what happened in there?! And whether or not the insect buddies can really understand what it was like in the darkness, they are so glad to see their dude again, flying high after crawling for so long.
Humans do that dance over and over again. Remember that while the cocoon doesn't last forever, only you can grow your wings and break yourself free. When you're primordial ooze, try to remember that you have been before, will be again, and that in between those times, you will soar higher than you imagined. You will be stunned and grateful that you made it this far, and people who love you will be joyful. They will tell you that you are beautiful, have always been beautiful, and they always knew you were destined for wings. Other people with wings will recognize yours, which is cool, because then you get a little winged crew together and do sky tricks’n’shit. And when one of the winged brethren sees the changes coming, starts to build a cocoon, unsure of what new creature will emerge, the flying friends are the ones you want near. They will smile and pat your back. They will remind you that there was a time when you couldn't even fly. And they will be there, waiting to celebrate who you are next.
Here's to more years, and even higher highs.
INSPIRATION
No Cosmos and poetry collective RODAISUN are back for Writer’s Block Volume 2. This is a monthly workshop series where instrumental sound encounters written word. No Cosmos will provide live improvised electronic jazz for this evening of spontaneous collaboration, and you will get writing. Use the music as your guide and coax The Muse together but alone (ya dig?). Bring your deepest feelings and your favourite pen.
WHAT: Writer’s Block Vol. 2
WHERE: URSA MTL, 5589 Parc Ave., Montreal, H2V 4S8
WHEN: Thursday, February 15, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8
METRO: Place des Arts (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
WHAT IF
The One That Got Away -- an improv show inspired by your missed connections -- is back with a special Valentine's Day edition!
You know the Missed Connections section of Craigslist? It's sorta like that, but these are your stories, submitted beforehand and improvised before your eyes!
Those tales of fleeting glances, of that sexy someone you lost at Berri before you could ask their name…that's what this show is about. What might've happened if you did connect? These are the stories they’re after, so submit them here
Created and produced by Melissa Giacomini.
No one turned away due to lack of funds.
WHAT: The One That Got Away
WHERE: Montreal Improv, 3716 Notre-Dame St. W., Montreal, H4C 1P7
WHEN: Friday, February 16, 8 PM
METRO: Place St. Henri (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
DATE NIGHT
This show sounds like a whole party! A hilarious and sexy evening where comedy, improv and burlesque have a menage in an effort to discover the hottest date in Montreal. Lou Laurence hosts an evening like no other! Comedians, improvisors, and burlesque dancers bring their characters to the stage and vie for the audience’s love through questions and challenges reminiscent of classic TV dating shows. It's all up to the audience to decide who will be crowned Montreal’s Most Delicious Date!
WHAT: Montreal's Most Delicious Date
WHERE: The Wiggle Room, 3874 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2W 1Y2
WHEN: Sunday, February 18, 730 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green
TICKETS: The Wiggle Room
LAUGH THROUGH IT
This isn't a typical comedy show.
In this new production, artist and therapist Sandy takes the stage to create a space where laughter isn’t just the goal, it’s a carefully curated journey for people who are not doing okay. While the whole world dumpster fires around us, it's important to gather with people who are on the same emotional wavelength. And this is for those who are not ok. It's a comedy soirée tailored for those who find humour in the shadows, an opportunity to hear stories from some of the most brilliant -- and peculiar -- artists in town.
Does this show have the best tags ever? Maybe.
· If you are blissfully ignorant of world news, come to the show, just sit in the back please.
· If you have achieved virtuosity in obedience, this show might not be for you.
· If you are easily offended, please come cry at the show.
Hosted and curated by Sandy, featuring the unique talents of Yumi Blake, Andrew Khoury, Marianne Mandrusiak, Raquel Maestre, and René Bazinet.
WHAT: Not for Laughs: A Comedy Show For People Who Are Not Doing Okay
WHERE: House of Jazz Laval, 1639 boul. de l'Avenir, Laval, H7S 2N5
WHEN: Tuesday, February 20, Doors @ 7 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Montmorency (Orange)
TICKETS: ThePointOfSale
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
