McSweeney’s List (21 February 2024)
When my gal pal recently moved back from Europe, she brought fresh eyes with her. It's not news to anyone that I love me a new perspective (yes, even when I disagree with it). I suppose the only way to tell this story is by first going back.
When chickie moved away last fall, I thought I'd never see her again. Sure, maybe she would blow through town on a trip one day, but if so, she and her hubs would definitely be overbooked and short on time. I had resigned myself to the fact that our friendship would evolve into an e-relationship. I'm not diminishing that, one of my best friends lives on my phone screen, and we have shared more than I have with many people I can touch from here. Still, I was aware that this would be a shift, an adjustment that would affect my everyday life as her physical absence would certainly leave a void. So when she called me a few months later to say she was moving back, it was a random gift.
From her standpoint, it was much more complicated than that. Not only were there practical stressors (she had sold her condo before leaving), but there were emotional ones too. She had begun putting down roots, making friends, preparing for the long haul, and then poof, she was back. We discussed how draining the change was, but she's above water now, beginning to swim again. We caught up on our mutuals, some of whom are no longer in our circle. There's been drifting, and there have also been clean cuts. We reminisced about old times, talked about how those now gone were once so central to our story.
“You've changed,” she told me. “Again.” We laughed, and she said that she loved the old me. “And I love this version too.” Doing some quick math I figure we're both probably about 3 versions of ourselves deep from where we met pre-pandemic. We both smile more now.
We're focused on different priorities, chasing definitions of success that differ not only from each other's, but from our previous selves.
She tells me how she was at the end of her rope when she left, feeling incapable and unaccepted. She sat with the feelings, and let go of the things she couldn't control (easier said than done, but always worth trying). She's feeling stronger now, and more fluid too. She intends to keep up with the friends she made there, but she's going with the flow. “We meet people for a reason, or a season --”
“Or a lifetime,” I finish for her. It's an oldie and a goody, but I haven't heard the cliché in awhile. It gets me thinking of things beyond people. When I started my day job years (and I mean years) ago, it was supposed to be a temporary part-time gig. When I first tried my hand at writing nonfiction (even more years ago), I was still thinking of myself as a poet. It shows how unreliable my powers of prediction are. Those are clear seasons, as are the different chapters I've shared with my fab friend. I start picturing it as a big TV show, one season slipping into the next. Cliffhangers, holiday specials, seasons where the script wasn't up to snuff, and some definite casting errors. I think my show would be a dramedy, but maybe a rom-com…preferably a cartoon either way.
Regardless.
Our intentions only factor so far into the equation. There are giant immutable forces at every turn, and that's before even considering all the details. The details are infinite, as humans are a pretty interesting species
I've seen a one night stand turn into a happy family (with kids, a yard, pets…the whole nine). Conversely, when I met my daughter's dad I for sure thought it would be for a lifetime. (What the hell did I know? Geez, if I could have some words with my younger self it would be a doozy of a conversation). But looking back I have no question that we met for the reason of creating our super cool kiddo. And knowing what I know now, I don't believe there's any way to tell who will be in our lives for the long haul until the cards have all finally (read: depressingly) been played. Until then it's all chapters, character arcs, chemistry too, I suppose…probably the placement of the stars, definitely the placement of the moon.
And I realize that my friend gets that. And maybe I didn't finish her sentence, but rather she left that part out intentionally.
“I remember when you asked for all the things you’re getting now,” she said. “I see you. You're glowing.” and that's a season I'm ready to embrace.
BOOK TALK
Join our Indigenous Literatures Book Club as we meet to discuss An Ordinary Violence by Adriana Chartrand.
Mi’kmaq multidisciplinary artist and writer Tara McGowan-Ross hosts The Indigenous Literatures Book Club, focusing on work by Indigenous writers from around the world. The meetings are free and open to all.
This meeting will discuss An Ordinary Violence by Adriana Chartrand. Chartrand is a mixed-race Native woman, born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Her father is Red River Métis (Michif), born and raised in the Métis community of St. Laurent, and her mother is a mixed white settler from Manitoba.
In An Ordinary Violence, Dawn's seemingly perfect life in the big city implodes. She’s forced to return to her childhood home and the prairie city that still holds so much pain.
She reunites with her estranged brother, and soon finds herself following clues to uncover a nefarious plan to access a dangerous supernatural network. As the lines between right and wrong blur and dissolve, Dawn reckons with trauma and violence, loss and reclamation in an unsettling world where spirit realms entwine with the living, and where it is humans who carry out the truly monstrous acts.
If you want a copy of the book, please skip Amazon and buy from Librairie Drawn & Quarterly directly. I'm doing so, you help support events like this one, independent publishing and retailing, our neighbourhood, and authors both local and from around the world who depend on independent bookstores for their livelihood. And really, what has Amazon ever done for you?
WHAT: Indigenous Literatures Book Club: An Ordinary Violence
WHERE: Librairie Drawn & Quarterly, 211 Bernard St. W., Montreal, H2T 2K5
WHEN: Thursday, February 22, 7 PM
METRO: Rosemont (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
COFFEEHOUSE CONCERT
Did someone say there's a li’l show at Café Big Trouble? I did…I'm saying it right now. Come stomp out that February mood with some cool music and friendly faces! The evening starts with a beautiful solo set by Avery Jane, followed by the cute and fun duo Raindog, and closing out with NIGHTGRASS.
I hear you asking but will there be snacks? Hell ya, there will be! Tasty treats, pastries, and drinks of course! This café is stocked!
WHAT: NIGHTGRASS, Raindog & Avery Jane
WHERE: Le Café Big Trouble, 2054 St. Denis St., Montreal, H2X 3K8
WHEN: Friday, February 23, 7 PM
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)
DETAILS:Facebook
LOLZ OUT WEST
If you're in the ‘burbs looking for laughs (which is understandable), I gotchu. Abby Stonehouse joins a fresh lineup along with Dylan Parker, Sean Carson, James Oakley, Lawrence Corber, and more. The evening’s hosted by Nazeer Khan. These are some serious killers, so city folks, make a road trip of it. Pretend you're on vacay. It’ll definitely be worth it.
WHAT: West Island Comedy Night
WHERE: Duke & Devine's Irish Pub, 479 Beaconsfield Blvd., Beaconsfield, H9W 4C3
WHEN: Sunday, February 25, 730 PM
METRO: Nah
TICKETS: Eventbrite
LOLZ FOR BHM
Let's be honest: you haven't done enough for the culture this Black History Month. But don't despair, The World's Smallest Blackout is here in the knick of time! Celebrate Black Artists with this lineup packed full of ebony, ethnic, POC flavour! Goofy Well Done, Unclephil Humour, Sam the Mic David Mpoire and more take the stage for a night of laughter and joy, hosted by Vance Michel.
Plus, the menu at Hurley's easily beats your average bar food, so it's one stop shop for dinner and a show!
While the show is free, donations are the best way to show your support for these fab Artists.
Hang around for the Monday Night Dirty Mic @ 1030 PM for even more laughs!
WHAT: The World's Smallest Blackout
WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., H3G 2B1
WHEN: Monday, February 26, 8 PM
METRO: Guy-Concordia (Green), Lucien-L’Allier (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
