McSweeney’s List (10 April 2024)
Vulnerability is a sensitive topic. (See what I did there? *gigglesnort…but note that what I did there is just to ease the discomfort of how tender the topic truly is.) I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and as is so often the case, once something is in your mind’s eye, you catch glimpses of it everywhere.
The word vulnerable comes from Latin meaning to wound. When it made its debut in English circa 1600, the dictionary definition was "capable of being physically wounded" or "having the power to wound". Thus, letting your guard down and being vulnerable literally meant giving someone the power to wound you. Holy shit, no wonder it makes us itchy.
I consider myself to be open and honest. I like to think I wear my heart on my sleeve, and Creative Director Andrew Jamieson coined a new one, saying that I walk the world with my soul akimbo. I wear the moniker and imagery with pride, but I'm not so naïve as to fully believe it. I'm aware of (some of) my guarded spots, and know that tripwires are set up. The thing is, they were never meant for everyone, so I'm trying to construct Hero paths to let the right ones subvert the dangers. In doing so, I'm finding that some of the guards and detailed traps are no longer needed at all. And, once I undertook that project, I started to see just how many moats and holes covered with leaves I've built around here. Not only had I long forgotten these setups, I was veritably blind to them, and I don't know how I've made it this far without seeing them. Actually, I've probably been falling into my own moat over and over again.
For instance, I recently caught myself becoming defensive when complimented. They were small compliments, ones I've heard before and believed before, but when I heard them from someone who makes me feel gooey inside, I reflexively braced for a punchline. Something in the weird maze my brain has built wanted to protect me, as though believing a compliment I wanted from someone I wanted it from was too risky. That it was too good to be true, and if I stood in that feeling, the rug would certainly be pulled out from under me, leaving me the butt of a joke, the studio audience laughing til they cry. At first I thought it was because my friends and I have been known to tease each other terribly. I'm annoyingly gullible with people close to me, so sometimes I'm the last to catch the sarcasm. I figured it was just a reflex, a knee ready to kick out with a rebuttal at the slightest hint of a roast. The more I thought about it, the deeper it went. First I realized that my girlfriends and I do not do this. This is strictly something that comes up with muh dudes. So maybe that's got my expectations cross wired? Nope. Even my (dick) friends will say a kind word when their mood or blood alcohol level strikes them, and I believe them. Besides, even when they're being dicks I know they like me, that's why they're my (dick) friends. The difference here is that I want this person to like me, and that puts me on my back foot from a fighting standpoint. (See, the very fact that I consider “a fighting standpoint” illustrates how eager my defenses are to protect me from these soft feels.) But I know that my friends like me, and I like them, whereas I like this other person and I want them to like me. And well, that makes me vulnerable.
Once I realized this specific knot was interfering with my system, I tried to understand how to fix it. But the longer I sat with it, the more I realized that it's a pile of tiny knots, and now all this shit is tangled. My body’s defense systems are set to Super Sensitive, which is why a change of tone makes me want to pull up my anchors, burn the bridge, and hell, I'll burn the whole boat with me on it if need be.
I don't have answers on this yet. But if vulnerability is hard for me, I'm betting it's hard for you too, Dear Reader. I'm starting this process, and hope you’ll give some thought to taking on the challenge of doing the same. I have a hunch we can solve a whole lot of things if we learn to soften together.
SOMETHING SPECIAL
Time to change your 4/20 plans, because this is where you need to be. Taking place at the iconic Artloft, local legend Vance Michel (Kill Tony, ZooFest, OFFJFL) is headlining TWO shows, and recording his first half-hour comedy special, aptly named Just Blaze.
Walter J. Lyng (Just For Laughs Recording Artist, Fringe Festival Lifetime Achievement Award) hosts the night, and some other fab folks will be there too! Eva Alexopolous (Kickback Comedy, JFL), Akeem Hoyte Charles (Netflix, The CW), Goofy Welldone (ZooFest, Un Souper Presque Parfait), Michelle Forrester (The Discovery Series, JFL New Faces of Comedy)
Get ready for the dankest, most hilarious 4/20 of all time!
Sponsored by Keb rolling papers, there will be prizes and giveaways too!
Come out for the early show, the late show, or settle in for the whole night.
This event is BYOB + BYOW(eed)!
WHAT: Just Blaze Comedy Special Taping
WHERE: Artloft, 4152 Boul. St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2W 1Y9
WHEN: Saturday, April 20, @ 8 PM & 10 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
Let’s Get Weird
Multidisciplinary Artist and Forget The Box Creative Director Andrew Jamieson is back at it! With a brand-new experimental immersive piece, MONUMENTUM, in development, Andrew is casting for the project’s first script/character workshop. Looking for actors from diverse backgrounds, comfortable with a variety of theatrical styles, specifically improvisation.
Project: Script/Character Workshop for MONUMENTUM, a new experimental immersive project.
Creator: Andrew Jamieson
Casting: 5 Characters
Date: Tuesday, April 16th - 6-10PM
Location: Downtown Montreal
Paid: 60$
Details: Specifically searching for actors comfortable with a variety of theatrical styles, specifically improvisational performance.
Submission Deadline: Friday, April 12, 2024
Please visit the Google Submission Form for more information, Character Breakdown, and Submission Details:
https://forms.gle/P3WfVZtqzbw3ui6s5
For more about Andrew Jamieson’s experimental immersive work, visit:
YOU KNOW WHICH BOULEVARD
It's time for another On The Boulevard! Hosted by the ever entertaining Andrew Jamieson, the mic is multidisciplinary, and we’ve been having a great time so far! This week we have some special guests I couldn't wait to tell you about, so I'm dropping names right here and now. Who’s gonna be there? Podcaster, funny lady, and fab human, Abby Stonehouse, hilarious dude, podcaster, and producer, Vance Michel, queer comic, producer, and owner of a fab laugh, Alo Azimov, and “the tallest Spanish speaking trans comedian in Montreal”, Raquel Maestre. Plus, other talented folks I'm not telling you about, so come on down for the show! And say hi to me, ‘cuz that's always cool.
Bar Bifteck is CASH ONLY.
POEMS, PLEASE
The Encore Poetry Project began in early 2023 in collaboration with NDG’s Encore Books & Records. A community based multidisciplinary platform for emerging writers and artists, I was lucky enough to speak to organizer Inuya Schultz last year, and so for the full project lowdown and history, read this one. The project is ongoing, and they're currently accepting submissions for their next collection.
Submission guidelines can be found here. Deadline is May 1.
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
