McSweeney’s List (24 April 2024)
I've been stressed lately. Yes, some actual things have been pressing on me, but as is my MO, I've been more stressed than need be. My brain is a particularly shitty place to be when stressed (I’m sure you can relate), and it didn't take long for my intrusive daytime thoughts to slip and slide into my dreams. Which of course, meant that I was fatigued, and my abilities stretched thin as I kept covering all my bases, both the necessary and pleasurable ones. Of course, I only have so much to give. I like to picture a giant team of tiny Doozer-like folks running around inside, doing all the things my mind and body need to do, and I am short staffed. The Doozers, struggling to cover the shifts in my emotional defences and clarity of thought. That's how my intrusive thoughts and sense of impending doom got worse.
It shouldn't have surprised me at all when I didn't feel good last Friday. I wondered if I was getting sick. It's not a good time for that, came an even-toned and utterly unhelpful voice from somewhere within. You have responsibilities, and pleasures, and show tickets, and when will you have time for all the panicking?! It should've been no surprise that by Friday night, as I tried to pretend I wasn't sick and go about my life, I threw up (sober, dear Reader) in a gutter just off St. Laurent, and came to terms with the fact that I was in fact ill.
Now, Saturday was only hours away, and that night had an immovable and joyful event I would not miss, so I began bargaining with the Doozers. Listen Dudes, can we hustle up and beat this thing by tomorrow? I can be super sick tonight, but we've gotta kick this, dig? My overworked Doozers wiped their foreheads and exhaled forcefully. Welp, they replied, we’ll do our damnedest.
We often use the term fever dream as a descriptor, a term to convey surreal and vivid things like acid trips or weird-ass movies. We rarely remember our actual fever dreams, we just wake up with a sense that something intensely strange has happened. But this time, I caught myself. I half woke up, and because of my internal staffing issues, my dreams didn't shut off right away, and I was able to watch them for a moment. My Doozers were running around my insides, healing things. A group would gather, do some pressure point shit, sometimes there would be a glow (honestly, while I usually err on the side of magick, I think they were welding). And they would head off to another spot. It was some Magic School Bus shit. I caught them talking about how much there was to be done, and how little time, and my half-asleep mind wondered if they were trying to heal not only my illness but my Self overall, and surely that would be a tall order on a short schedule. It was hard to sleep after that. It was as if part of my brain stayed awake and followed the Doozers, perhaps trying to offer extra strength.
I was not better by morning. I promised the Doozers that if they could get me through the day, even if they had to Weekend at Bernie's me, I would rest and recover properly starting Sunday (but if we could heal before that, it’d rock). Fortitude of spirit, determination and Advil Cold & Flu got me through, and Sunday was a blur of symptoms and sleep. Starting this piece on Monday morning, I had to shake off the cobwebs and remember sentence structure (I do have an up-to-date Poetic License though, so I'm covered). I'm still thinking about my little buddies running around my body, healing, guarding, trying to balance all the energetic requests I put in over the course of a day. And when that annoying voice tried to pipe up today, I thought about my Crew and the pressure they’re under. I told that voice (simply and kindly) that there was nothing in all of my stresses real or imagined that could not wait a couple of days. That to force myself into action would only prolong my time on the bench in the long-run. And that's really how I should be thinking of things in general. It shouldn't take a flu to knock some sense into me, but thank All The Gods that's all it did. My stresses have been made smaller by remembering how important health and rest are; hydration, nutrition, prioritizing energetic expenditures too. And also how important the people who touch your forehead, and check in on you, are. Maybe this is still the fever talking, but I have a calm sense of faith that the Doozers and I can now move forward more harmoniously than before.
WE LOVE A ZADDY
They’re back!
The Zaddys Comedy Show is dedicated to creating a safe space for BIPOC, queer, trans folks and allies. Our mission is to dismantle toxic masculinity while taking a strong stance against racism & tokenism. All proceeds go towards comics.
A Queerstorical event! BIPOC Queer & Trans Comics take the iconic Stock Stage in the Heart of the Queer Village for one hilariously promising night!
big fun at big trouble
Every Thursday evening at Cafe Big Trouble, the talented Avery Jane hosts an open mic! They have coffee, cocktails and snacks. Bring your poetry, your lyrics, your instruments and your friends!
Visit our Instagram for more details: @lecafebigtrouble
WHAT: Open Mic avec Avery Jane
WHERE: Le Café Big Trouble, 2054 Saint Denis St, Montreal, Quebec H2X 3K8
WHEN: Thursday, April 25, @ 5 PM
METRO: Berri-UQAM
DETAILS: Facebook
PLUS, POPCORN
Your newest favourite multidisciplinary arts mic is back! Presented by Forget The Box, hosted by the multi-talented Andrew Jamieson, On The Boulevard hits the only boulevard that matters this Sunday. Spoken word, comedy, music, magic, and things we haven't thought of are welcome! The show is PWYC with funds going to running Forget The Box, so we can keep talking about fantastic local artists!
Want some stage time? All the details are right here.
WHAT: On The Boulevard
WHERE: The Bifteck, 3702 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2X 2V4
WHEN: Sunday, April 28, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)/Sherbrooke (Orange)
DETAILS: Facebook
STAYCATION
While short term rentals are a scourge, I just found out that you can book amazing experiences and treat your hometown like a tourist, without renting a spot.
Local comic, radio personality, emcee, and surprisingly good ping-pong player, Goofy Welldone will show you the city with fresh eyes. He's been hosting local tours and comedy experiences for almost 10 years now, and loves our Belle Ville in a way that lifelong residents seldom do. (I mean, we live in one of the coolest cities in the world, you know? But we're silly fish unaware of our water, and we should get out there and appreciate it more.)
Goofy offers an Old Port electric scooter tour, comedy at a speakeasy, and boasts the best underground city tour in town. His tours are in English, French, and Spanish, and his energy is contagious. Discover something new in your own backyard!
DETAILS: AirBnB
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
