When people say be prepared, they mean prepared for bad things. They say be prepared for disappointment, and stockpile necessities in order to be prepared for “every” eventuality. If you Google “preparation kit”, you find a billion different emergency kits, depending on what catastrophe you feel currently unprepared for.

I believe in practical preparation. If you find me at an outdoor music fest, I promise that in my oversized purse, I have a roll of toilet paper (in a Ziplock, thank you very much), some bug bite stuff, and a just-in-case layer of clothing. I'd probably have tampons on me too, just-in-case, because if I don't need them, another girlie well might. (Although, mine are O.B., and applicator free, which has led to some pretty intimate conversations with strangers.) The point is, those amenities make me ready to party. I'm prepared to stay, and will do everything in my power to ensure circumstances don't send me home before I wanna go. And I think that we all need to spend more time preparing for the good.

It used to be commonplace to say “wear clean underwear in case you need to go to the hospital”. Wow, that's a dark way to get dressed. I'm just heading to the store and now there's a scenario where that small act leads me to the hospital. Holy shit. Why not wear clean underwear because maybe you'll be standing near an arts college when a distressed young man comes up to you and says his nude model is late, and asks if you could fill in for money and glory. (I was literally in the elevator at Dawson with him headed to the class when I changed my mind, but nonetheless, my underwear were clean.)

We all too often go to our jobs anticipating extra work, no recognition, and maybe even getting laid off. What if we were prepared to be promoted? What if we showed up in our favorite outfit and a smile ready for the corner office? Sure, it might not happen, but you’ll enjoy your day more, and odds are someone will notice that you’re giving CEO vibes.

Less than a week before my scheduled move date, I got the call that my keys were available early. While I was excited, I hardly felt prepared. The next few days were a whirlwind of rescheduling and hustling, and thank heavens I was able to get help, and had offers of more help (shout out, you both know who you are, and thank you). It felt good to be rushing for a blessing instead of feeling like I was trying to keep my head above water. The early move saved me time and money, and meant that my brain could stop chasing its tail.

It made me think about how I was ready for every contingency except good news. I was ready for the movers to take forever and cost a ton (super fast, and half what I expected). I was ready to chase my cat until we both cried and I bled, but it was far less stressful than that. It goes so far that I remembered my new place as smaller, with small, shitty windows, and arriving I realized I was wrong; it's big, it's bright, the windows are perfect. But something about the repeated be prepared of my life had me ready for all the bad news. And, it cost me mucho energy and time envisioning and preparing for every possible wretched occurrence.

So what if today you got ready for greatness? What if instead of disappointment around the next corner you pictured glory, joy, riches? Sure, it might not happen, but the bad things probably won't either. Still, the journey changes profoundly when we get ready to dance around the corner instead of being prepared to dodge.

all fun, no pressure

QT Shop Talk Comedy Show returns for Pride in June!!! QT Shop Talk Comedy is a two-part comedy series made up of workshops and showcases to highlight Queer, Trans & ally comedians of all levels. We provide a fun space for comedians to try comedy for the first time, and then get them on stage! Produced by comedians Alo Azimov, Becca Redden. Follow us on Instagram to keep up with workshops and shows: @qttalkshopcomedy

WHAT: QT Shop Talk Comedy

WHERE: Bar Notre-Dame-Des-Quilles, 32 Rue Beaubien E, Montreal, QC H2S 1P8

WHEN: Wednesday, June 26 @ 9PM

METRO: Beaubien (Orange)

DETAILS: Facebook

IT'S ME!

Well, it's not just me, but I'm writing this so lemme be a bit selfish. Tomorrow night, myself and some other newbs will be doing comedy. Now, I know these newbs (and am one), and they're funny (myself included, I've been saying so for years), so bring us your laughs! Featuring Scotty Gannon, Aviva Roberts, and Coey Toohey. Vance Michel is hosting, and Walter J. Lyng is headlining, so if you're skeptical of the newb crew, the laughs are guaranteed with those guys. The show is PWYC, the venue is fab, the humans are wonderful. Come on down.

WHAT: Comedy at Hurley's

WHERE: Hurley's Irish Pub, 1225 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1

WHEN: Thursday, June 27, 8 PM

METRO: Lucien-l’Allier (Orange), Guy-Concordia (Green)

BRING YOUR OWN SACRIFICE

Ever wonder if Montreal comics gather to just have a damn good time? Most of them do, and here's the spot. Bring your bug spray and your water bottle, ‘cuz you’ll wanna make a day of it. As the event states:

A DAY OF CARNAL SAVAGERY FEATURING:

COMEDY

MUSIC

BBQ

PICKLE BALL

INDUSTRY NETWORKING

STATE OF THE SCENE SPEECH

APPOINTMENT OF NEW KING/QUEEN OF SPOT FEST

SATAN

NO SPOTS

WHAT: Spotfest 666: A Day of Carnage

WHERE: Girouard Park, 3500 Avenue Girouard, Montreal, H4A 1R2

WHEN: Saturday, June 29, 1 PM

METRO: Vendôme (Orange)

DETAILS: Facebook

ACCESSIBILITY UPGRADE

We’re proud to announce that the Forget The Box Multi-Mic, On The Boulevard now has real time closed captioning. Whether you're hearing impaired, or find it hard to focus, reading along makes this mic even more accessible, and to be honest, we couldn't be prouder.

Plus, July sign-ups are OPEN NOW, so hit the link to showcase your talents in the hottest new room on the Plateau. The show is PWYC, the venue is cash only, and the staff is spectacular. If you haven't seen OTB yet, you're already missing out, so hustle up.