McSweeney’s List (13 December, 2023)
Accessible Audio for McSweeney’s List will be available soon!
These days, I'm really into my gut. (Hey, Editor, don't be a dick.) No, not my microbiome, though I do think about that quite a bit (hello, Magnificent Microorganisms! Keep up the good work!). I'm talking about The Gut, where butterflies and instincts live, the thing we follow, or ignore, at our own peril.
I've always considered myself a “follow the heart” kind of gal. It's that trite advice that I've often given, truly believed in, and tried to follow. The Heart Knows, Heart Over Head, Follow Your Heart, and other titles.
When I checked in with myself recently, following plotlines backwards in an effort to avoid the same tired script in the future, I realized that somewhere along the way the compass I was following had gotten mucked up. There are very few instances in which I follow my head. (Editor’s Note: Are you bragging about that?) No, I’m not bragging about that. In fact, taking logical and considered steps would have brought me down a whole different path, but that's not who I am, or want to be. Or, logically, I would've done that. (Editor’s Note: Do you ever, like, wonder, though…?) Following my heart became ingrained. It's what I did. It’s what I do. What I didn't realize, at the time I made that choice, is what that meant in practice. My heart is soft, it aims for universal balance, it looks for bright sides, and it finds the best in people. My heart loves ten people right now, truly, not including Humanity At Large. My heart asks my head why I love someone or something such as a particularly handsome man, or a chaotic work of art. It often takes time before I confess it to myself.
My Gut has no such reservations. My Gut makes snap decisions upon meeting people and does not ask itself for justification. (Editor’s Note: But sometimes it’s indigestion.) My Gut tells me to avoid eye contact with certain strangers, while telling me to smile at others. While my head observes, my heart ponders, and my Gut is impulsive and makes erratic decisions. Those actions are attuned to the key of Tom Robbins when he wrote that there are only two mantras, Yuck and Yum. My head smells like mild laundry detergent, my heart like Nag Champa, and my gut smells like fresh grass in the fucking rain.
Yes, I've already had friends carefully question whether I know what I'm doing, or I’m out of my mind. While the overall answer is No, I have no idea. None. The immediate, small picture answer, is that these days I barely know what map I'm using. I am uncertain of which horizon I am chasing, or the event upon it. I'm running on instinct and curiosity, eager for fresh flavours and new experiences. (Editor’s Note: And textures.) And yes, I am aware that it's bound to be messy. You can't dance around fire without getting dirty. (Editor’s Note: This created a ten-minute attempt to understand Dawn’s braided metaphors, followed by her cackling with realizations in her Gut.) But this is my Zero Fucks Era. My Do It For The Thrill Era, my Do It For The Plot Era. It's time for me to embrace visceral callings without questions. Maybe not without fear, but certainly without shame. (Editor’s Note: Carrie Fisher once told me, “whatever you fear most, go there first.”)
The interesting thing so far is that while this has led me to cancel a thing or two, it's also led me to say yes to plans on a moment's notice. It turns out that The Gut doesn't believe in prolonged decision making, which is a twist for a historic overthinker such as myself. Even menus aren't making me freeze up these days. I'm ready to order as soon as the waiter gets to the table, and oh, if that's not available, I'll just get the next thing my eyes land on. Because it's all going to be great. The Universe will certainly provide me with exactly what I need, and The Gut has been trying to lead me to it my whole life.
So welcome to my New Phase! Gloriously driven by The Gut, giving both Heart and Head a much needed break. I feel lighter already, with more mental space in my hands. (Editor’s Note: It should be in your head.) Moving through my day feels easier, and more spontaneous at the same time, a sign I'm on the right path. Things feel more natural. While my head ponders What Is Love, and my heart asks Is This Love, The Gut simply holds the lover, howling at the moon.
High Quality, Low Class
3 stages, 9 performers, one Sleazy night!
It's a party, a Forget The Box fundraiser, and a killer show! That outfit you love that your family says is inappropriate for Christmas dinner -- wear that one.
Have you ever been to a private event on the second floor of Bifteck? I have not, I did not know it was an option, and so it's the perfect bonus bingo card box to check. Hosted by our Creative Director, Classically Trained Antagonist, Party Producer and Sleazy Guy Andrew Jamieson, there's going to be something for everyone!
Music by Naghmeh, Avery Jane, and Big Daddy Queen Power. Comedy with Abby Stonehouse, Alo Azimov, Walter Lyng and Morgan O'Shea, spoken word by Tara McGowan-Ross, and burlesque with Mina Minou. I gave them all their flowers and got their thoughts on the shindig, FTB, and Andrew Jamieson over HERE.
Plus, this party kicks off my birthday weekend, so if you wanted an excuse to buy me a drink, here it is.
The event and venue are cash only, so bring your old school money!
WHAT: Andrew Jamieson’s Sleazy Christmas (Volume 2!)
WHERE: Bifteck, SECOND FLOOR, 3702 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2X 2V4
WHEN: Thursday, December 14, Doors @ 8 PM, Show @ 825 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
OH, CHRISTMAS TEASE
Jingle your bells and stuff your stockings, it's time for a Holiday Cabaret!
The delightful Dawn Ford puts on her MC hat and hosts sparkly performances from terrific performers including Penny Royale, Bambi Van Boom, Classy Clare, Pretty Pretentious, Salty Margarita and Heart Dandy! Participate in silly contests! Win mediocre prizes! (They wrote that in the description, I'm sure their prizes are lovely.)
WHAT: Christmas Tease Cabaret
WHERE: Café Cleopatra, 1230 St. Laurent Blvd., Montreal, H2X 2S5
WHEN: Friday, December 15, Doors @ 8 PM, Show @ 9 PM
METRO: St. Laurent (Green)
DETAILS: Facebook
OLD SOUL, NEW SINGLE
Montreal is notoriously musical. That being said, loads of bands start up, trail off, take up other projects. Not Old Soul. Started in 2017, this band’s been grooving ever since. Inspired by the psychedelic vibes of the 60s and 70s, they aim to capture the essence of the sound and scene. With their latest single Talking To Myself out now, I asked them how this achievement feels, and if this is how they dreamed it would be.
We would say that we've come so far in terms of reaching new people since the beginning when we started out. The songs come and we don't ask of them too many questions. It feels right as a product of our evolution. The dream is still materializing!
Their new single is streaming everywhere now!
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
