McSweeney’s List (11 September 2024)
Our brains are busy. Within every minute they’re processing 11 million points of data without our awareness. Obviously a lot gets filtered out as unimportant (which makes it even more interesting that a song from 1992 can pop into my head with full lyrics while I'm doing dishes). In addition to filtering, our brains do a lot of blank-filling. For example, when you hear a sound in your house, your brain can do the fast math to remind you that you have a cat roaming somewhere. This can also lead to the occasional Mad-Lib, wherein if you see a rope on the floor you might think it's a snake before you really consider how plausible that is.
With all that going on, it's easy to feel a little disconnected from the moment itself. We walk around knowing the sky is above us without having to look up. We register the greenspaces without considering the details, and go on auto-pilot, looking at our phones on the metro, taking it all for granted, impressed by nothing much.
Sometimes I like to pretend I'm an alien. I mean, as soon as we find more life out there, we’ll be aliens to them, but that's not what I mean. I mean a fresh to Earth traveller, exploring and taking in this weird world. Instead of my brain just clocking flower while I glance at one, I like to really look at the flower. Given all the time in the world, I couldn't have designed a daisy let alone the myriad of petals and pollen configurations that evolution has been able to produce. Each one is perfect in its way, from the incredible geometry of the dahlia to the sensuous curves of rose petals wrapping around each other. Have you ever considered cacti? How cool is it that plants developed defenses?! And that other plants are shaped just right, so that only certain bugs and birds can get their nectar? They didn't even have to think about it, let alone get a committee together, take a vote on the best shape…they just became their best selves over time.
I've been making a point to get my toesies in the grass as often as I can. I kick off my Crocs on my lunch break and walk around the lawn in front of my office, feeling the earth gently yield, feeling the cool grass. I do this thoughtfully, intentionally, thinking about how countless blades hanging out together make nature's shag carpet…I think about how there was once grass where all the concrete now lies. While it's pretty neat that we decided to rebuild the world as we saw fit, we’re silly mammals who now need to seek out, create, and protect the natural spots.
When was the last time you looked up at a tree? I find myself wondering how old they are. Were they standing when the ones around them were cut down so we could throw up a mall? And imagine explaining trees to aliens: well, they have leaves (mostly, some of them have cool spikes). And the leaves start as tiny bright green buds and then tiny flowers and then BOOM leaves everywhere! They're like flower petals, but also not. They get darker as the spring turns to summer, and when the sun wanes in the fall, they make a spectacular display, turning to jewel tones, from yellow to bright red. And that's the leaves dying! They die beautifully! What the hell is that?! And the tree lives and hangs out strong and naked just resting so it can do it all again.
The one that gets me all the time, takes my breath away, and makes me swoon, is the knowledge that the people we know -- even the people we don't like, and the people who bump you on the metro -- only exist in this timeframe. We could've been here with a whole other generation of humans, and we would have different friends, different lovers, hell, different movie stars. But this is our generation, our small blink in the timeline of existence, and how crazy sexy cool is it that we’re here now with all the other Earthlings also here now?! It's wild.
So, go check out some flowers, or hug a fellow Earth-baby, or a tree (hug them -- it's good). Because you're here, now, and that's fucking beautiful.
forget The Lamestream
Raquel Maestre (Admiring Librarians, A Very Pretentious Comedy Show, The Poly Mic, Lexperts) brings you a different comedy show. Alternative comedy for special people, just like you. We know you're so special.
The show will feature a lineup full of award-winning -or nominated- comedians: Dan Carin, Zak Kik, Elie Gill, Rachel Kalmanovich and sketch troupe Tandem Jump. They're all very special, not your usual comedians.
WHAT: The Alt Comedy Show
WHERE: Notre Dame Des Quilles, 32 Beaubien E., Montreal, QC, Canada H2S 1P8
WHEN: Tonight, September 11, 9 PM
METRO: Beaubien (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
WE ALL NEED TO SING
Karaoke night every Wednesday! This week is part of the "back to school" welcome week with ALL Haus Cocktails on special for $11.33, from 3 PM until 11 PM!
WHAT: Karaoke Wednesdays
WHERE: La Poubelle Magnifique, 1221 Crescent St., Montreal, H3G 2B1
WHEN: Wednesdays, 8 PM
METRO: Lucien L’Allier (Orange), Guy-Concordia (Green)
ROCK, ROLL, LOL
Whether you're into music, comedy, or poetry, this is the ultimate showcase for you. Bring your friends, grab a front-row seat, soak in the electric atmosphere of local creativity and cheer on the best in local talent! Bring your vibes, bring your crew, and let's make some magic together! Refreshments are included, plus you can BYOB.
This week catch music from Mia Kiddo, Loriane Costino, Jardin de Cairns, Zack Tardy, Robert Scott Macdonald, poetry by Sam C., and comedy by Erik Intrevado, James Mancini, Claudio Capri, and uh, me!
On a personal note, I was floored by the calibre of talent and the warmth of the room. Don't miss this.
WHAT: Open Mic
WHERE: Espace Joie de Vivre, 1485 Atateken, Montreal, H2L 3L2
WHEN: Saturday, September 14, Doors @ 730 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Berri-UQAM
TICKETS: Espace Joie de Vivre
JOKES AND DRAG
This week, catch a hilarious and high-energy blend of stand-up and drag. The piece begins as a motivational talk, given to the audience by the King of the Party, there to show everyone how to have a good time. Slowly, through lip-syncs and mortifying personal tales, we watch them unravel onstage, digging into the complex experience of being an asexual in an (allo)sexual world.
Content warning: discussion of substance use and abuse, sexual content, swearing.
Sensory warning: loud music, yelling, overlapping sounds (speaking over music).
The space is come and go as you please, late comers welcome, if you need to step out and return, that is also welcome.
WHAT: Prude
WHERE: Turbo Haüs, 2040 rue Saint-Denis, Montreal, H2X 1E7
WHEN: Monday, September 16, Doors @ 730 PM, Show @ 8 PM
METRO: Sherbrooke (Orange)
TICKETS: Eventbrite
FTB’s first workshop! MASTER Spoken WORD!
Submissions are still open for Forget The Box’s FIRST EVER workshop! The Poetry Performance Workshop is a pilot project, facilitated by Tara McGowan-Ross and Andrew Jamieson.
ABOUT THE WORKSHOP
This two-day, eight hour poetry performance workshop offers intensive and personal instruction from two of Montreal’s leading artists in their sectors. The first day (four hours) will be led by Tara McGowan-Ross, author of Nothing Will Be Different, and focus on the text of your work. The second day (four hours) will be led by Andrew Jamieson, writer, director, and creator of Who’s Afraid, and Bed of Nails, and will focus on the performance of your work.
The workshop will then culminate on the third day with participants performing at a spoken word event, presented by Forget The Box, at a venue TBA.
NOTE: This workshop is aimed toward those writers with a specific in-process OR finished piece they would like to develop further.
--
ABOUT THE FACILITATORS
Tara McGowan-Ross
Tara McGowan-Ross is an urban Lnu/Mi'kmaq author and theatre school drop-out who has been setting precedent for poetry performance in Montreal since the Printemps D'Erable. Her poem A SIMPLE INSTRUCTION was first runner-up for the Pacific Spirit poetry prize, her memoir NOTHING WILL BE DIFFERENT was a finalist for the Hilary Weston Writers’ Trust prize for nonfiction, and she has been anthologized in BEST CANADIAN POETRY and Anthologie de la poesie actuelle au femmes du Quebec 2000-2020. She draws inspiration from the continental tradition of Western philosophy, Mi’kmaq cultural traditions, hip-hop, dance, stand-up comedy, and ecstatic religion. Her approach is warm, funny, and tough-love, with the intention of breaking your work into the next level of its true potential.
https://taramcgowanross.substack.com/
Andrew Jamieson
First onstage at age five, Andrew Jamieson’s inevitable formal theatre training led him to directing his first professional stage production at the age of 16. Since then, he has directed dozens of projects from professional theatre, to short films and music videos, as well as his own experimental “Immersive Reality” productions. Through the latter, Andrew has developed an adapted approach to performance through text, based on David Mamet’s Practical Aesthetics, and Metamodern concepts. He has continued to refine and perfect this method while regularly coaching both professional actors and spoken word performers.
Currently developing his next immersive project, MONUMENTUM, Andrew also serves as the Creative Director and Editor-in-Chief of the local Montreal arts magazine Forget The Box.
www.whothefuckisandrewjamieson.com
DETAILS
Dates: September 22nd and 23rd, 2024
Time: 2-6PM
Performance: September 24th, 2024 @ 8PM
Location: Plateau Mont-Royal (Exact location will be provided to those selected.)
Cost: $150 (To be paid upon acceptance to the workshop.)
SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN UNTIL SEPTEMBER 12TH, 2024. THOSE SELECTED WILL BE NOTIFIED THE NEXT DAY.
SUBMIT HERE:
https://forms.gle/Hq9pVTcGFhBVJ91EA
--
This workshop is part of a pilot project by Forget The Box to provide accessible high-quality workshops to Montreal's creative community.
--
Forget The Box is committed to equity. If you feel comfortable, please indicate if you bring a perspective to the workshop that has been historically marginalized by mainstream arts and culture (for example, if you are Queer, Trans, or BIPOC).
McSweeney’s List drops every Wednesday with the best events, workshops, and more, each week in Montreal!
